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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problem are trying alternative medicines and treatment instead of visiting their usual doctor. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

#people #health #alternative #medicines #treatment #doctor #development
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As nowadays the population is increasing with health problems people are trying to solve my helpful
instead
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 of visiting doctors
as well as
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 hospitals. I think
this
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 is a positive development. My reason
as well as
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 my experience is described below
information
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. On the positive side, there are so many advantages
for
Change preposition
to
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 solving
Use synonyms
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
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 by
self
Correct your spelling
oneself
show examples
. As
public
Add an article
the public
show examples
 will try to solve problems by themself
then
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 they will get so much knowledge and data. For
exmaple
Correct your spelling
example
, during
,corona
Correct article usage
the,corona
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 as the public was aware of
medicines
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then
Rephrase
apply
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that
Correct pronoun usage
which
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help
Wrong verb form
helped
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a
Correct article usage
the
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 government a lot.
This
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 can save a community income
as well as
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there
Correct your spelling
their
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 time
Rephrase
apply
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also
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.
This
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 will help
Correct article usage
the
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community's family members
also
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.
This
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 will even increase knowledge and
information
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 about
medicines
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. As a
women
Fix the agreement mistake
woman
show examples
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
 great
information
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 about
medicines
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 she can even teach
there
Correct your spelling
her
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 children and family.
Thus
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, the government should support
this
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. , a person will become a self-dependent person. On the negative side, as every coin has two sides in same ways taking
medicines
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 and
treatment
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 at home
also
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 negative side. Old people face
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problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
show examples
due to
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 taking
medicines
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 by themself. As a society are taking
treatment
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be
Correct your spelling
by
show examples
 themself
due to
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this
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 many public are facing
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problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
show examples
 of
employments
Fix the agreement mistake
employment
show examples
.
For instance
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, if a man
take
Change the verb form
takes
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wrong
Correct article usage
the wrong
show examples
medicines
Use synonyms
 or
treatment
Use synonyms
 he can face
big
Add an article
a big
show examples
problem
Use synonyms
. In conclusion, I think from my viewpoint it is a positive development if people with health problems are trying alternative
medicines
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 and treatments
instead
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 of visiting their usual doctor.
According to
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 the data Taking
medicines
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 and
treatment
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 by own has positive development. Nowadays all
information
Use synonyms
 can be obtained from the Internet so
this
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 helps a lot public.
Submitted by purvaam383 on

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