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Writing Samples
Band 5

The table below shows the salaries of secondary/high school teachers in 2009. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparison where relevant.

The table below shows the salaries of secondary/high school teachers in 2009. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparison where relevant.
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The data illustrates the income of secondary school teachers in 2009 from five various
countries
Use synonyms
.
Overall
Linking Words
, what stands out from the data is that salaries from different
countries
Use synonyms
 vary.
While
Linking Words
,
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 Luxembourg accounts for the highest pay, Australia is the lowest. The starting pay for high school teachers in Luxembourg is 80,000 which is the highest compared to the other 4
countries
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 and will continue to increase and will reach 119,000 after 15
years
Use synonyms
 of service.
Whereas
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, Korea and Japan's starting pay is not that far from each other. About 30,000 and 34,000 respectively.
However
Linking Words
, after 15
years
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 Japan's salary doubled
while
Linking Words
 Korea's increased by just over 10,000. On the one hand, Denmark and Australia have a shorter year to reach their maximum salary average in less than 10
years
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,
,
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however
Linking Words
 the pay plateaued at 54,000 in Denmark and 48,000 in Australia ,respectively.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the rest of the
countries
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 need at least no less than 30
years
Use synonyms
 of service to reach the highest peak of their salary.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however, while".
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words countries, years with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "data" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "reach" was used 3 times.
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