the chart below shows the result of a survey about people's coffee and tea buying and drinking habits in five australian cities.

the chart below shows the result of a survey about people's coffee and tea buying and drinking habits in five australian cities.
This
bar chart depicts a
survay
Correct your spelling
survey
about
Change preposition
of
show examples
drinking habits and people’s
coffee
and tea buying in five cities in Australia: Sydney,
Melbourne
, Brisbane, Adelaida and Hobart. It is clear from
this
graph that
these
Correct pronoun usage
those
show examples
who visit
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
coffee shops
a coffee shop
show examples
coffee
shops represent
higher
Add an article
a higher
show examples
ratio.
According to
what is shown, the
proporton
Correct your spelling
proportion
of people
whose
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
went to a cafe to have a
coffee
or tea in
Melbourne
account
Fix the agreement mistake
accounts
show examples
for around 64% of the people who
live
Wrong verb form
lived
show examples
in the city in the
last
month,
while
the lowest
persentage
Correct your spelling
percentage
is Adelaide about
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
half.
On the other hand
, the ratio of Hobart’s residents
bought
Correct pronoun usage
who bought
show examples
instant
coffee
in
last
Correct article usage
the last
show examples
4 week represent less than 55% and it is the same range for
Melbourne
.
However
, buying a
frish
Correct your spelling
fresh
fish
coffee
in Sydney and
Melbourne
is between 45 per cent and 40 per cent.
Meanwhile
Add a comma
,Meanwhile
show examples
the other cities stand for less than 40 percent of the people who bought a fresh
coffee
.
Submitted by firasalfadda2 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "last".
Vocabulary: Replace the words coffee, melbourne with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "represent" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "ratio" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • consumption
  • preference
  • beverage
  • caffeine
  • demographics
  • trend
  • survey
  • cultural significance
  • habit
  • seasonal variation
  • health consciousness
  • availability
  • implications
  • urban vs. rural consumption
  • data interpretation
  • quantitative analysis
  • fluctuations
  • patterns
  • peak times
  • economical impact
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