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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

the chart below shows the result of a survey about people's coffee and tea buying and drinking habits in five australian cities.

the chart below shows the result of a survey about people's coffee and tea buying and drinking habits in five australian cities.
#survey #people #coffee #tea #habits #five #australian #cities
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This
Linking Words
 bar chart depicts a
survay
Correct your spelling
survey
about
Change preposition
of
show examples
 drinking habits and people’s
coffee
Use synonyms
 and tea buying in five cities in Australia: Sydney,
Melbourne
Use synonyms
, Brisbane, Adelaida and Hobart. It is clear from
this
Linking Words
 graph that
these
Correct pronoun usage
those
show examples
 who visit
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
coffee shops
a coffee shop
show examples
coffee
Use synonyms
 shops represent
higher
Add an article
a higher
show examples
 ratio.
According to
Linking Words
 what is shown, the
proporton
Correct your spelling
proportion
 of people
whose
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
 went to a cafe to have a
coffee
Use synonyms
 or tea in
Melbourne
Use synonyms
account
Fix the agreement mistake
accounts
show examples
 for around 64% of the people who
live
Wrong verb form
lived
show examples
 in the city in the
last
Linking Words
 month,
while
Linking Words
 the lowest
persentage
Correct your spelling
percentage
 is Adelaide about
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
half.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the ratio of Hobart’s residents
bought
Correct pronoun usage
who bought
show examples
 instant
coffee
Use synonyms
 in
Linking Words
last
Correct article usage
the last
show examples
 4 week represent less than 55% and it is the same range for
Melbourne
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, buying a
frish
Correct your spelling
fresh
fish
coffee
Use synonyms
 in Sydney and
Melbourne
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 is between 45 per cent and 40 per cent.
Meanwhile
Add a comma
,Meanwhile
show examples
 the other cities stand for less than 40 percent of the people who bought a fresh
coffee
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by firasalfadda2 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "last".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words coffee, melbourne with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "represent" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "ratio" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • consumption
  • preference
  • beverage
  • caffeine
  • demographics
  • trend
  • survey
  • cultural significance
  • habit
  • seasonal variation
  • health consciousness
  • availability
  • implications
  • urban vs. rural consumption
  • data interpretation
  • quantitative analysis
  • fluctuations
  • patterns
  • peak times
  • economical impact
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