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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

In many parts of the world, children and teenagers are spending more and more of their time indoors. What do you think are the causes of this problem? What measures could best be taken to solve it?

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During the ages , in many parts of the world, the preferences of how to spend some free
time
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, have changed. Now
children
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 and teenagers tend to prefer to spend their
time
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 indoors
instead
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 of many other options. Through the next paragraphs  I will discuss my opinion and propose some measures to solve
this
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 issue. In my opinion, I think that the main
cause
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 to
this
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 problem are social media. As we all know, the use of these has increased enormously throughout the years: It's incredible how not only teenagers, but even
children
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, tend to spend an uncountable
time
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 on their electronic devices, just to check social media,
such
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 as: Tik tok, instagram ,snapchat. Some researches have shown that
while
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 using them you're not concious of the
time
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 passing by, and you get addicted to them more and more every
time
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 you sail on them. They
cause
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 the same chemical effects on your brain as drugs do. Another
cause
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 can be video games. Nowadays young generations seem to enjoy more playing with video games
instead
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 of having a talk with a friend or practice some sport. That can increase the stress level of young people.
On the other hand
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, I think that unfortunately there aren't many solutions to
this
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 global problem. Parents should limit the
time
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 spent on Ipad or Tv on
children
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 and teach them how to enjoy playing with friends outside, breath some fresh air, and most importantly get rid of the stress and frustrating things that lay on our shoulders by playing some sport. On teenagers things are more complicated, as parents don't have a strong power on their
children
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 once they grow up. Probably, some "social media education" at school should be practiced, to let young people be aware of the big risks electronic devices can
cause
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 on your mental health.
Overall
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, I think that
this
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 is a big issue that must be solved, and probably
also
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 governments should discuss some measures, as
this
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 can increase other issues that are correlated to
this
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.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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