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Writing Samples
Band 6

Task 2 Some parents buy their children a large number of toys to play with. What are the advantages and disadvantages for child of having a large number of toys?

#parents #children #toys #child
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Nowadays, all over the world, the topic of buying a large
number
Use synonyms
 of
toys
Use synonyms
 for
children
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 is omnipresent.
While
Linking Words
 some
parents
Use synonyms
 think the advantages of buying a large
number
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 of
toys
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, others
parents
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 think there are disadvantages for kids to have
access
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of
Change preposition
to
show examples
 a large
number
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 of
toys
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. In my point of view, I think both perspectives are valid, for the reasons discussed below. On the
one
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 hand, as far as buying a large
number
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 of
toys
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 for their
children
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 is concerned,
firstly
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, to some extent, especially in modern times, no matter where in the world you live, they can have
access
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of
Change preposition
to
show examples
 a variety of
toys
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due to
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 the fact that the
parents
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 buy every
things
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 for their kids, leading to discovering every universe
such
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 as Marvel, Medicine game, tools hands game and so
one
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.
In addition
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, they should spend more time with their
toys
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due to
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 the amount of it resulting in the fact that the
parents
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 have more free time for themselves.
On the other hand
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, there are reasons for offering a large amount of
toys
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 for their kids has disadvantages. First and foremost, by and large, when
children
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 have
access
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 to many
things
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, they cannot take care of
toys
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 owing to the fact that the toy is broken, they just need to change it.
Secondly
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, and most importantly for me, they cannot learn the value of
things
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 because of having every
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things
Change to a singular noun
thing
show examples
 they want.
For example
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, if a child has just
one
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 toy, he will take care of it,
instead
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 of the kid
has
Wrong verb form
having
show examples
access
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 to many
toys
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, if he breaks
one
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, he will change it and play with another
one
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. In conclusion,
while
Linking Words
 some
parents
Use synonyms
 think the advantages of buying a large
number
Use synonyms
 of
toys
Use synonyms
 for their
children
Use synonyms
, others say that buying
a large numbers
Correct the article-noun agreement
a large number
large numbers
show examples
 of
toys
Use synonyms
 has disadvantages.
However
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, in my opinion, both perspectives are
value
Replace the word
valuable
show examples
 for the reasons discussed above.
Submitted by tony.vantroo on

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