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Band 5

The diagram below shows the development of cutting tools in the Stone Age. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The diagram below shows the development of cutting tools in the Stone Age. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The picture illustrates the progress of two kinds of different cutting equipment in the Stone Age.
Overall
Linking Words
, it shows the evolution of cutting tools that were used a
million
Use synonyms
years
Use synonyms
 ago. Showing the 3 views (front, side and back
view
Use synonyms
).
Moreover
Linking Words
 showing the similarity in size of both tools from different ages. On the one hand, it shows that 0.8
million
Use synonyms
years
Use synonyms
 ago the stone used was chiselled into a thin sharp object with a pointy end at both sides. The front
view
Use synonyms
 depicts a round rough stone
while
Linking Words
 the back
view
Use synonyms
 is flat and smoother ,
Linking Words
furthermore
Add a comma
,furthermore
show examples
 the size was 5cm in height, the same size as the tool used 1.4
million
Use synonyms
years
Use synonyms
 ago.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, Tool A invented 1.4
million
Use synonyms
years
Use synonyms
 ago looks a little more refined than the previous one. It was smoother, thicker and was in a triangle shape. Its back
view
Use synonyms
 was flatter
in contrast
Linking Words
 with the front
view
Use synonyms
.

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words million, years, view with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 3 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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