It is more important for school children to learn about their local history than the world history. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#school #children #history #world

Some people think that it is more essential for students to learn about their

history

than global

history

. In my opinion, I partially agree with the given statement, and I will elaborate on it in

this

essay. On the one hand, nowadays, learning the local past is more crucial for pupils.

Moreover

, if they do that, they can see the past and understand traditional culture.

For example

, In South

Korea

, in the past day, there was a war called Korean War. At that time, North

Korea

invaded South

Korea

and killed a lot of communities.

Also

, they captured numerous South Korean citizens and tortured them.

Nevertheless

, many victims survived but, the North Korean government denies all of the facts. If we learn world

history

more than the local past, we will forget all victims and they will be forgotten forever

as well as

real fact.

Therefore

, we ought to learn the local past because it is part of our folk’s problem.

On the other hand

, the world's past is

also

a crucial thing. In the present day, we cannot live without other nations.

In addition

, we connect to global markets, so we should teach school learners about global

history

For instance

, in South

Korea

, their economic system consists of an export industry. Because of

this

, if they do not know about other countries'

history

, they cannot understand other countries' cultures

thus

they cannot export to other states and

consequently

, the majority of Koreans cannot get a job in those nations.

For

this

reason, students must learn world

history

. In conclusion, I partially agree with the statement. Learning the local past is vital for youngsters

as well as

global

history

. So, we must teach past balance to them because today, we cannot live without other publics, and it will benefit not only our societies but

also

our pupils.

Submitted by livewire53 on Mon Sep 11 2023

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coherence cohesion

The introduction and conclusion are somewhat present but could be more clearly defined. The main points are well supported throughout the essay.

task achievement

The essay provides a generally complete response with clear and comprehensive ideas. However, the introduction and conclusion could be more explicitly connected to the prompt.

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13Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

307 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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It is more important for school children to learn about their local history than the world history. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In some countries, a few people earn extremely high salaries. Some people think that this is good for a country., while others believe that the government should control salaries and limit the amount people can earn. Discuss both views and giye your opinion.

space exploration is much too expensive and the money should be spent on more important things. to what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people say that teenagers should work part-time and earn money. This way they will learn basic lessons about work and become more disciplined. Others argue that teenagers shouldn’t sacrifice their rest and after-school activities to work. Discuss both views and give your opinion.