It is more important for school children to learn about their local history than the world history. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#school #children #history #world

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Some people think that it is more essential for students to learn about their

history

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than global

history

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. In my opinion, I partially agree with the given statement, and I will elaborate on it in

this

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essay. On the one hand, nowadays, learning the local past is more crucial for pupils.

Moreover

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, if they do that, they can see the past and understand traditional culture.

For example

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, In South

Korea

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, in the past day, there was a war called Korean War. At that time, North

Korea

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invaded South

Korea

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and killed a lot of communities.

Also

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, they captured numerous South Korean citizens and tortured them.

Nevertheless

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, many victims survived but, the North Korean government denies all of the facts. If we learn world

history

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more than the local past, we will forget all victims and they will be forgotten forever

as well as

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real fact.

Therefore

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, we ought to learn the local past because it is part of our folk’s problem.

On the other hand

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, the world's past is

also

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a crucial thing. In the present day, we cannot live without other nations.

In addition

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, we connect to global markets, so we should teach school learners about global

history

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For instance

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, in South

Korea

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, their economic system consists of an export industry. Because of

this

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, if they do not know about other countries'

history

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, they cannot understand other countries' cultures

thus

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they cannot export to other states and

consequently

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, the majority of Koreans cannot get a job in those nations.

For

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this

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reason, students must learn world

history

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. In conclusion, I partially agree with the statement. Learning the local past is vital for youngsters

as well as

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global

history

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. So, we must teach past balance to them because today, we cannot live without other publics, and it will benefit not only our societies but

also

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our pupils.

Submitted by livewire53 on Mon Sep 11 2023

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coherence cohesion

The introduction and conclusion are somewhat present but could be more clearly defined. The main points are well supported throughout the essay.

task achievement

The essay provides a generally complete response with clear and comprehensive ideas. However, the introduction and conclusion could be more explicitly connected to the prompt.

13
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

307 words

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It is more important for school children to learn about their local history than the world history. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In some countries, many more people are choosing to live alone nowadays​ ​than in the past. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

‘The best way to educate children is by using the Internet in every lesson.’ To what extent do you share this opinion? What other ways are there of making lessons effective for children?

Some people believe that the purpose of education is to prepare useful members for society. Others say that the purpose of education is to achieve personal wishes. Discuss views and give your opinion.

In the future, it is expected that there will be a higher proportion of older people in some countries. Is this positive or negative development?

In some countries, many more people are choosing to live alone nowadays than in the past. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?