It is more important for school children to learn about their local history than the world history. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that it is more essential for students to learn about their

history

Use synonyms

than global

history

Use synonyms

. In my opinion, I partially agree with the given statement, and I will elaborate on it in

this

Linking Words

essay. On the one hand, nowadays, learning the local past is more crucial for pupils.

Moreover

Linking Words

, if they do that, they can see the past and understand traditional culture.

For example

Linking Words

, In South

Korea

Use synonyms

, in the past day, there was a war called Korean War. At that time, North

Korea

Use synonyms

invaded South

Korea

Use synonyms

and killed a lot of communities.

Also

Linking Words

, they captured numerous South Korean citizens and tortured them.

Nevertheless

Linking Words

, many victims survived but, the North Korean government denies all of the facts. If we learn world

history

Use synonyms

more than the local past, we will forget all victims and they will be forgotten forever

as well as

Linking Words

real fact.

Therefore

Linking Words

, we ought to learn the local past because it is part of our folk’s problem.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, the world's past is

also

Linking Words

a crucial thing. In the present day, we cannot live without other nations.

In addition

Linking Words

, we connect to global markets, so we should teach school learners about global

history

Use synonyms

For instance

Linking Words

, in South

Korea

Use synonyms

, their economic system consists of an export industry. Because of

this

Linking Words

, if they do not know about other countries'

history

Use synonyms

, they cannot understand other countries' cultures

thus

Linking Words

they cannot export to other states and

consequently

Linking Words

, the majority of Koreans cannot get a job in those nations.

For

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

reason, students must learn world

history

Use synonyms

. In conclusion, I partially agree with the statement. Learning the local past is vital for youngsters

as well as

Linking Words

global

history

Use synonyms

. So, we must teach past balance to them because today, we cannot live without other publics, and it will benefit not only our societies but

also

Linking Words

our pupils.

livewire53

Sep 11, 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion

The introduction and conclusion are somewhat present but could be more clearly defined. The main points are well supported throughout the essay.

task achievement

The essay provides a generally complete response with clear and comprehensive ideas. However, the introduction and conclusion could be more explicitly connected to the prompt.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

13
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

307 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

6
band
Attending a live performance (for example, a play, concert, or sporting event) is more enjoyable than watching the same event on television. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
There is a controversial perspective heating a debate over the fact that it is more amusing to participate in live events such as a play, concert, or sporting EVENT than watching them the same thing on television. In my opinion, I partially disagree with this notion.
6
band
Million of dollars are spent on space research every year. Some people argue that the money should be spent on improving living standards on Earth. Do you agree or disagree?
The 21st century is the most advanced and exceptional century of all time. One of the exceptions is spending a hefty amount of money annually on space research programs. Each year, millions and trillions of dollars are spent to gain more knowledge about nature and elements of space. Some individuals find it very beneficial while others believe that instead of researching space, the money should be used to enhance the lifestyle of people residing on Earth. Before stating my own opinion, I will explore both perspectives with valid examples.
7
band
In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might be this is the case? Do you think this is a psitive or negative situation?
Having a home instead of renting is very necessary in some specific countries because of high inflation and increases in the cost of rent. I think this is a negative situation because some people's financial wealth is down.
6.5
band
In some countries, more and more people are becomming interested in finding out about the history of the house or building they live in. What are the reasons for this? How can people research this?
In the present day, people around the world are interested in exploring the history of their own residence or accommodation. In this essay, the reasons behind this trend and the ways people research this will be explained in detail.
6
band
Some people think the government should pay for health care and education, but there is no agreement about whether it is the government’s responsibility. What is your opinion?
There are controversial perspectives heating up a debate whether it is necessary for the government to make an investment in medical care and schooling. While some hold a strong view that the healthcare system and the educational system should be made a payment by the authorities, the opposite makes a statement that it is not held liable to the governors. In my opinion, the government should provide financial support for medical care and education, but it is not crucial for them to fund it entirely.

It is more important for school children to learn about their local history than the world history. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Attending a live performance (for example, a play, concert, or sporting event) is more enjoyable than watching the same event on television. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Million of dollars are spent on space research every year. Some people argue that the money should be spent on improving living standards on Earth. Do you agree or disagree?

In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might be this is the case? Do you think this is a psitive or negative situation?

In some countries, more and more people are becomming interested in finding out about the history of the house or building they live in. What are the reasons for this? How can people research this?

Some people think the government should pay for health care and education, but there is no agreement about whether it is the government’s responsibility. What is your opinion?