IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

The most important aim of science should be to improve people's lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#aim #science #people #lives
It is often argued that the significant purpose of
science
 should be to change
people
’s lives. I absolutely agree with
this
 view because
science
 serves as a source of knowledge and its invention. Nowadays,
science
 has a main role in the education field as a source of knowledge.
In other words
,
science
 shall be rendered to contribute to
people
 by educating them with valuable theories in varied fields which can lead them to develop
potential
Add an article
the potential
show examples
 that they have.
As a result
,
people
 will have an increased quality of life.
For instance
, medical students have been learning about human disease.
As a consequence
, the student will have a good skill to analyse human’s ailment.
On the other hand
, the invention of
science
 can make an improvement in
people
’s lives.
This
 will bring
people
 to a new cycle of life.
Moreover
, it
also
 makes
people
 do something easier.
For instance
 : in the past
people
 used to use traditional medicine to heal disease,
however
, now
people
 tend to consume medicine from doctors
due to
 the development of
science
 in the medical field.
To sum up
, a commonly held belief is that the aim of
science
 make
people
 have an improvement in life
due to
 their knowledge and their inventions of
science
. I wholeheartedly support
this
 perspective that
science
 has a big impact and changes
community's
Correct article usage
the community's
show examples
 lives.
Submitted by misstiasclassroom on

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Content
Task Achievement: Ensure your essay fully addresses all parts of the task, presenting a clear position throughout the response. Expand on your examples with detail and depth to more fully develop your arguments.
Form
Coherence and Cohesion: Improve paragraphing by ensuring each main point has a separate paragraph, and use a variety of linking words and phrases to connect ideas more smoothly. Work on structural elements to better guide the reader through your essay.
Form
Logical Structure: Your essay follows a logical order, but can be improved. Make sure each paragraph has a clear main idea and stays focused on that idea without drifting into off-topic details.
Form
Introduction and Conclusion Present: The introduction and conclusion are clear, but ensure they are fully developed, particularly the conclusion which should summarise your main points succinctly.
Content
Supported Main Points: Develop your main points with specific examples. Avoid general statements and provide evidence or details to support your arguments.
Content
Complete Response: It is imperative that the essay remains focused on the prompt at all times. Ensure that every paragraph contributes to a full discussion of the topic.
Content
Clear Comprehensive Ideas: Strive for clarity in expressing your ideas. Organise your thoughts and make sure your argument is easy to follow and understand.
Content
Relevant Specific Examples: Provide more specific and varied examples to strengthen your arguments and make them relatable to the reader.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • crucial role
  • technological advancements
  • medical discoveries
  • life-changing inventions
  • innovations
  • solutions to human problems
  • enhancing quality of life
  • improvement of healthcare
  • transportation
  • communication
  • agriculture
  • energy sectors
  • eradication of diseases
  • prolongation of life expectancy
  • global challenges
  • climate change
  • overpopulation
  • food security
  • developed world
  • underprivileged communities
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