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Writing Samples
Band 5

The chart below shows how frequently people in the USA ate in fast food restaurents between 2003 and 2013 . Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features , and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below shows how frequently people in the USA ate in fast food restaurents between 2003 and 2013 . Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features , and make comparisons where relevant.
#people #usa #food #restaurents #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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The given graph illustrates the Americans who ate fast
food
Use synonyms
 in
restaurents
Correct your spelling
restaurants
 over a period of ten
years
Use synonyms
 2003 to 2013.
Over all
Correct your spelling
Overall
show examples
, the number of times that American
people
Use synonyms
 went to fast
food
Use synonyms
restaurents
Correct your spelling
restaurants
were
Change the verb form
was
show examples
 the highest in once a week in 2006, and twice a month in 2013.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the
least
Correct word choice
lowest
show examples
percent
Replace the word
percentage
show examples
 in eating junk
food
Use synonyms
 was on
everyday
Replace the word
every day
show examples
among
Change preposition
over
show examples
 the
years
Use synonyms
. In
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
show examples
 , the number of
people
Use synonyms
whon prefered
Correct your spelling
who preferred
 to eat fast
food
Use synonyms
 both once a week and twice a month
were
Change the verb form
was
show examples
 the same
percent
Replace the word
percentage
show examples
 with 30%
in
Change preposition
with
show examples
 the number of
people
Use synonyms
 who enjoyed eating
fastfood
Correct your spelling
fast food
 with 5% and less.
Also
Linking Words
 , less than 4% of
Use synonyms
people
Change noun form
people's
show examples
 frequency was on
everyday
Replace the word
every day
show examples
 in 2003, and 3% in the
years
Use synonyms
 2006, and 2013.
Linking Words
Further more
Correct your spelling
Furthermore
show examples
,
American
Fix the agreement mistake
Americans
show examples
 who went a few times
have
Wrong verb form
had
show examples
 the same
percent
Replace the word
percentage
show examples
 in both
years
Use synonyms
 2006 and 2013 with 15%.
Submitted by insighttribez on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words food, years, people with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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