The diagram below shows the manufacturing process fro making sugar from sugar cane.

The diagram below shows the manufacturing process fro making sugar from sugar cane.
The given diagram illustrates the procedure of producing
sugar
from
sugar
cane.
Overall
, it is evident that the
process
comprises 7 sophisticated stages, beginning with the agricultural
process
and ending with the final product, using complex automatic tools. In the first stage, the
sugar
cane is cultivated by the farmers through a 12-
18-months
Correct your spelling
18-month
period.
Following
this
, the harvesting
process
takes place by means of hands or special harvesting machines.
Then
, the picked-up
sugar
canes are crushed through the use of a specific wooden machine to convert the canes to a special juice. In the fourth step, the
sugar
juice is purified via a limestone filter to be followed by the evaporation stage, in which the juice converts to syrup, by means of a heated evaporator.
This
is followed by the centrifuging
process
, in which the
sugar
crystals are separated from the syrup to be ready for the final step of the manufacturing procedure. Ultimately, the centrifuged and separated sweet substance goes through a drying and cooling procedure, which
finally
results in white sweet
sugar
.
Submitted by mohammadmgh1381 on

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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
Vocabulary: Replace the words sugar, process with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: Only 3 basic words for charts were used.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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