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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Climate change is a phenomenon that affects countries all over the world. Many people strongly believe that it is the responsibility of individuals, rather than corporations and governments, to deal with this problem. To what extent do you agree?

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In recent years, global warming has become a worldwide concern. Some
people
Use synonyms
 argue that individuals should take more responsibility in tackling
this
Linking Words
 problem compared to the government and corporations. I strongly disagree with
this
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 statement
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 I will discuss
this
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 phenomenon in detail. It is evident that being
part
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 of the community, each of us should fulfil our duty by taking
part
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 in creating a solution to positively control the environmental issues. Knowledge about global warming is important because the solutions to
this
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 issue include
waste
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 management.
For example
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, in hospitals, there are different types of
bins
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, hazardous
waste
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bins
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, dry
waste
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bins
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 and wet
waste
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bins
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. Normally,
people
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 tend to take a shortcut as they try to throw every type of
waste
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 in one bin, not knowing that their
actions
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 could cause a bad effect on the environment. These issues need to be raised to help society have a better understanding of the importance of changing its lifestyles and habits.
However
Linking Words
, the
actions
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 of residents alone are not enough to be the sole solution to
this
Linking Words
 global concern. The government's role is
also
Linking Words
 needed as it could strategise to create an impact on a larger scale. They could develop rules regarding
this
Linking Words
 matter,
such
Linking Words
 as educating
people
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 about the importance of
waste
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 management and monitoring them in implementing it. With these regulations,
people
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 are encouraged to be
part
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 of the change and work together to delay the rise in temperature.
In addition
Linking Words
, governments could collaborate with corporations to take more positive
actions
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 towards the environment. Subsidising electric cars to encourage drivers to choose a better option for air quality is
also
Linking Words
 one of the ways to delay climate change.
Actions
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 from certain individuals alone are not enough to solve
this
Linking Words
 global problem. Collaboration with government and corporations could have a greater impact as they are able to target and encourage more
people
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 to be
part
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 of the change.

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task response
Make your main answer more direct in the first part. Say clearly that you do not agree, and say why in one short line.
task response
Add one more clear idea about why companies and the state have more power than one person. This will make your answer more full.
task response
Your hospital bin example is useful, but it is more about waste than climate change. Add an example that links more directly to fuel, power, or factory smoke.
coherence and cohesion
Use topic lines at the start of each body part. This helps the reader follow your plan more easily.
coherence and cohesion
Some links are good, but you can use more simple link words like first, next, however, and so.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure each body part has one main point only. This will make your ideas feel more neat and easy to follow.
task response
You answer the question and give a clear view that you do not agree.
task response
You include both sides: what people can do and what the state and companies can do.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear start, middle, and end.
coherence and cohesion
The last part gives a clear final message and matches your main view.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • phenomenon
  • responsibility
  • address
  • crucial role
  • impact
  • collaboration
  • carbon footprint
  • regulations
  • policies
  • incentivize
  • act responsibly
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