IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

Some people believe that air travel is the best form of transformation. To what extent do you agree with this statement?

#people #air #travel #form #transformation
Air
travel
 is among
means
Correct article usage
the means
show examples
 of transformation that many
people
 are fond of because of its usability, fast, and efficiency.
However
, I stand out of the idea that
plane
Correct article usage
a plane
show examples
 is the best way to
travel
 because it depends on each case of travelling.
First,
travel
 by
plane
 can bring benefits to those who take a
long distance
Add a hyphen
long-distance
show examples
 trip in a short amount of time.
People
 can fly a thousand miles and
comeback
Correct your spelling
come back
show examples
 in a day.
Beside
Correct your spelling
Besides
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the direct advantage,
people
 could consider
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the aspect of one's experience when going on board. The
air
 services are
also
 more polite and professional than other kinds of transportation. The cabin crews are more trained to
dealing
Wrong verb form
deal
show examples
 with some challenges that only happen on board.
Also
, they have
ability
Change the article
the ability
show examples
 to comfort some clients who always have something to complain about.
In
Change preposition
On
show examples
 the other hand, the best vehicles for
travel
 depends on the need of travellers. If the tourist loves using
motorbike
Add an article
a motorbike
show examples
 to explore breath-taking landscapes in the mountainous areas,
plane
Add an article
the plane
a plane
show examples
 may be not a suitable choice for him.
Otherwise
, if that person
want
Change the verb form
wants
show examples
 to go abroad
fpr
Correct your spelling
to
studying
Wrong verb form
study
show examples
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
business
Add an article
a business
the business
show examples
 trip, not
thing
Correct your spelling
nothing
show examples
 more suits him than an airplane ticket.
Moreover
, using
air
travel
 usually requires some documents relating to
traveller's
Correct article usage
the traveller's
show examples
 identification and the process of going on
plane
Add an article
a plane
show examples
 is
also
 complicated. In Vietnam, normally, it will take a tourist two or three hours to finish the process before going to the
plane
.
In stead
Correct your spelling
Instead
show examples
 of using
air
travel
, they can choose another means of transformation that basically
meet
Correct subject-verb agreement
meets
show examples
 their demand. In general, there is no definition of the best form of transportation.
People
 will consider what suits them in each
cases
Change to a singular noun
case
show examples
 and decide to take the best one for that.
Submitted by viethoangnguyen0611 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: