IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

The graph shows average annual expenditures on cell phone and residential phone services between 2001 and 2010. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph shows average annual expenditures on cell phone and residential phone services between 2001 and 2010. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#expenditures #cell #phone #services #information #features #comparisons
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This
Linking Words
 line chart depicts the yearly average consumption of
cell
Use synonyms
 phones and residential
phone
Use synonyms
services
Use synonyms
 in the United States from 2001 to 2010. It is clear from the graph that, the utilization of
cell
Use synonyms
phone
Use synonyms
services
Use synonyms
 rocketed bast in the
last
Linking Words
 ten years.
According to
Linking Words
 what is shown, the consumption of the residential
phone
Use synonyms
 in the first period was less than 700$ and decreased slightly to around 550 dollars in 2006 and become at the same point as
cell
Use synonyms
 phones, but did not stop at
this
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 range, it continued to dip until become 400$
at the end
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 of the period. In terms of
cell
Use synonyms
 phones, it was about 210$ in 2001 and started to grow gradually to about 770$ in 2010.
To sum up
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, we could say that, there was a huge gap in the expenditure between
cell
Use synonyms
phone
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services
Use synonyms
 and residential
phone
Use synonyms
services
Use synonyms
 at the beginning of the interval and
also
Linking Words
at the end
Linking Words
 of the year.
Submitted by firasalfadda2 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "at the end".
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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words cell, phone, services with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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