IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

The chart below shows the amount spent on six consumer goods in four European countries.

The chart below shows the amount spent on six consumer goods in four European countries.
#amount #six #consumer #goods #four #european #countries
The bar chart illustrates how much money was spent on six products in
Britain
 ,France ,Italy and
Germany
.
Overall
Britain
 consumed
larger
Correct article usage
a larger
show examples
 amount
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
 all the goods considered compared to
other
Correct article usage
the other
show examples
 three countries
however
Germany
 used the least cash. It is observed that,
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 photographic films,
CD's
Change noun form
CDs
show examples
 and toys, France spent more than Italy
whereas
 on
other
Correct article usage
the other
show examples
 three goods considered the expenditure is vice versa. In all cases,
Britain
 shows a significant difference in the money spent with other countries but in Tennis bats,
cash
Correct article usage
the cash
show examples
 used by both
Britain
 and Italy is almost
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
. Italy's expenses on all the items are approximately from 150 to 155. In France, the capital on Tennis equipment is the least and on movies is the greatest and In
Germany
 and
finally
 in
Germany
 the finances
on
Change preposition
for
show examples
 the pictures, perfumes and Tennis are
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
 and the highest,
on the other hand
 on toys and
CD's
Change noun form
CDs
show examples
 are equal and the lowest.
Submitted by kavitha7797 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words britain, germany with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "amount" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: