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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The map below shows three possible locations for a leisure center. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The map below shows three possible locations for a leisure center. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
#three #locations #leisure #center #information #features #comparisons
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The map illustrates three projected spots for
planned
Add an article
the planned
show examples
 relaxing center.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is undeniable that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
spot
Use synonyms
 B is the most convenient place for recreational building,
whereas
Linking Words
spot
Use synonyms
 A seems to be noisy and polluted for relaxation
zone
Use synonyms
.
To begin
Linking Words
, it can be seen that
spot
Use synonyms
 A is
industrialized
Add an article
an industrialized
the industrialized
show examples
 district, where
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
numbers
Fix the agreement mistake
number
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 of factories and huge chimneys are situated, making
this
Linking Words
zone
Use synonyms
 unacceptable for leisure activities.
In contrast
Linking Words
,
spot
Use synonyms
 C can be described as
an
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 opposite of A.
This
Linking Words
 is surrounded
with
Change preposition
by
show examples
 green forests and open fields, being
comfortable
Correct article usage
a comfortable
show examples
zone
Use synonyms
 for recreation and recharging.
Finally
Linking Words
, there is a golden middle of A and C, which combine amenities and
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
nature, separated by
long
Add an article
a long
show examples
 river from
spot
Use synonyms
 C.
Moreover
Linking Words
, having a residential area makes
spot
Use synonyms
 B
more
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
preferable for people to have easy access to cafes and shops, relatedly, beneficial for
attract
Change the form of the verb
attracting
show examples
 customers.
Thus
Linking Words
,
spot
Use synonyms
 B is considered
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a suitable
zone
Use synonyms
 for
location
Correct article usage
the location
show examples
 of
leisure
Correct article usage
the leisure
show examples
center
Change the spelling
centre
show examples
.
Submitted by altuha9507 on

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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Basic structure: Change the fifth paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words spot, zone with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fifth paragraph.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • amenities
  • accessibility
  • prospective
  • recreational facilities
  • infrastructure
  • proximity
  • pedestrian access
  • public transport links
  • green spaces
  • commercial area
  • residential zone
  • traffic congestion
  • environmental impact
  • urban planning
  • feasibility
  • demographics
  • footfall
  • zoning regulations
  • land use
  • catchment area
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