IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people opine that cinema will eventually lose its appeal to mass people and very few people will go to cinema halls. Do you agree or disagree with this view?

#people #opine #cinema #mass #halls
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Some
individuals
Use synonyms
 opine that
cinema
Use synonyms
 significantly lose its attraction to myriad
people
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 in the future, and
Correct article usage
a diminitive
show examples
diminitive
Correct your spelling
diminutive
 quantity of
individuals
Use synonyms
 will go to
Use synonyms
cinema
Add an article
the cinema
show examples
 in person. From my perspective, I totally disagree
Linking Words
this
Change preposition
with this
show examples
 categorical view. I opine that
individuals
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 who are willing to watch
movies
Use synonyms
 in
cinemas
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 will not be declined significantly. There are obvious and sufficient reasons indicating advantages relating
watch
Wrong verb form
to watching
show examples
movies
Use synonyms
 in
cinema
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 halls. These valid reasons can significantly against opinions from some
individuals
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 who opine
cinema
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 will eventually lose its appeal to mass
people
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.
Firstly
Linking Words
,
cinemas
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 usually play new
movies
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 to make money and get profits. The core reason is that new proficient
movies
Use synonyms
 and products significantly
attact
Correct your spelling
attract
 the audience's attention so that
audience
Correct article usage
the audience
show examples
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 willing to pay for it.
Thus
Linking Words
, there is no doubt that
cinemas
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 can
get
Verb problem
make
show examples
 profits from playing new
movies
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.
Secondly
Linking Words
, new
movies
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 are usually protected by laws in knowledge and creativity perspectives.
Thus
Linking Words
, a series of new attractive
movies
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 could only played in
cinemas
Use synonyms
 with authorities, which have been provided by
local
Correct article usage
the local
show examples
 government and the
movie
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 producer.
Lastly
Linking Words
,
cinema
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 halls can
purvey
Verb problem
provide
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 better conditions for playing
movies
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 and these conditions cannot be achieved in personal
residence
Change the noun form
residences
show examples
,
such
Linking Words
 as surrounding sounds,
quality
Correct word choice
and quality
show examples
 of view.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, there
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 sufficient evidence suggesting significant disadvantages
about
Change preposition
to
show examples
 not watching
movies
Use synonyms
 in
cinemas
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. The main reason is if we are willing to watch a new
movie
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 which
attract
Change the verb form
attracts
show examples
 us a lot, we only will watch
this
Linking Words
movie
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 in an authorized
cinema
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 because we usually cannot get and watch the fake
movie
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 from
website
Correct article usage
the website
show examples
. Meanwhile, with development of laws and protections for creative and
innovate
Replace the word
innovative
show examples
movies
Use synonyms
,
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
could contribute to prohibiting
playing
Verb problem
apply
show examples
fake
Use synonyms
movie
Fix the agreement mistake
movies
show examples
 and precluding these sorts of fake
movies
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'
website
Fix the agreement mistake
websites
show examples
. In
couclusion
Correct your spelling
conclusion
, the opinion which indicates
cinema
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 will eventually lose its appeal to mass
people
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 and very few
people
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 will go to
cinema
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 halls is not
significant
Change the word
significantly
show examples
 correct.
Besides
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 kind of view is obviously categorical. New
movies
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' playing procedures will be more formal with the development of protections related to innovations and new products. The authorized
cinema
Use synonyms
 hall must make profits in general through playing new and qualified
movies
Use synonyms
 and their affiliated products.
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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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