The graph below shows the proportion of the population aged 65 and over between 1940 and 2040 in three different countries.

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The given line chart provides information on the elderly population in percentages (People aged 65 and over) in three particular areas: the USA, Sweden and

Japan

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in the span of one century from 1940 to 2040.

Overall

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, the data depicts an upward trend in those three countries. At the beginning of the period, the USA had the largest population followed by Sweden and

Japan

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However

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Japan

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replaced that place

at the end

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of the period, becoming the most dominant proportion

according to

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prediction. In 1940, around 9% elderly population

lived

Change the form of the verb

living

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in the USA and

this

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gradually increased year by year reaching its peak at 15% in 1980 before decreasing slightly to approximately 14% in 2020.

However

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, the chart predicts that a sudden increase will happen at about 23% in 2040.

In contrast

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, Sweden experienced a gradual ascend from less than 6% to 25% in 1940 and 2040, respectively.

In addition

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, between 1980 and 2000,

this

Linking Words

category overlapped the USA’s proportion, making it the most dominant before

Japan

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exceeded it in 2040.

misstiasclassroomMon Sep 11 2023

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".

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Vocabulary: Replace the words japan with synonyms.

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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "gradually" was used 2 times.

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7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

171 words

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The graph below shows the proportion of the population aged 65 and over between 1940 and 2040 in three different countries.

Some people argue that it is the government's responsibility to transport children to school while others believe that parents should do that. Discuss both views and give your opinion

Car ownership has increased so rapidly over the past thirty years that many cities in the world area now "one big traffic jam". how true do you think this statement is? what measures can governements take to discourage people from using their cars?

Some people think it is more important to spend money on roads and motorways than on public transport systems. To what extent do you agree or disagree? (Agree or Disagree)

Some people think that the modern communication technology is having a negative effect on a social relationship. To what extent do you agree or disagree?