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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

With the help of the Internet and television many people are becoming famous. Is this a positive or a negative trend?

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Issues related to well-known
people
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 are frequently discussed these days.
Although
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 some believe that individuals becoming famous because of the
internet
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 and television is a negative trend, I criticize
this
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 and argue that there are many advantages of social networks
this
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 time which will be explored in
this
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 essay. The first reason to consider is that the
internet
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 brings numerous choices of watching to societies not only actors and actresses can be popular persons but
also
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 common
people
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 who are experts at something.
For instance
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, there are a number of influencers who review cosmetic products on their platform and are watched by women from around the world.
Moreover
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, customers can select or subscribe to differentiated sources which perfectly match their needs.
Thus
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,
this
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 makes it clear that the benefits of the
internet
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 are important to
people
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's lifestyles in these times. An additional point is that we have found new occupations over these 5-10 years because of the
Internet
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.
For example
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, Youtubers who create content in their channel can look after themself by advertising costs varied by their view counts.
As a result
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, the government can hire famous youngster to publicize their countries's soft power.
Therefore
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, it becomes apparent that the
internet
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 and television are the main parts of
this
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 modernized world. To summarise, I would like to reiterate that the
internet
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 and television help some
people
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 to become famous and contain many interests.
However
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, I recommend using
this
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 media appropriately unless there are some negative effects which are stress or emotions in depression.

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task response
Make sure to address all aspects of the prompt and provide a clear opinion.
coherence cohesion
Work on organizing your ideas coherently and using appropriate transitions.
lexical resource
Expand your vocabulary and consider using more varied and precise language.
grammatical range
Pay attention to your sentence structure and use a wider range of grammatical structures.
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