The chart below give the number of people employed in five types of work in a certain region in Australia in 2001 and 2008. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

#people #five #work #region #australia #summarise #information #features #comparisons

The bar chart illustrates the number of people employed in 5 kinds of occupation, namely sales, computing, accounting, nursing, and farming in a specific area in Australia in the eight-year period from 2001 to 2008.

Overall

, during the period,

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

employment

in sales jobs maintains

Change preposition

apply

show examples

the highest figure among the

employment

in 5 types of work at about 180000 employees, orderly followed by the

employment

in computing, accounting, nursing, and farming. The number of people employed in farming is the lowest with about 25000 employees. In detail, during the period, there

Wrong verb form

was

show examples

a slight increase in the number of employees working in sales, computing and nursing. Meanwhile, the figure of people working in accounting and farming experienced a slight decrease.

However

, the fluctuation of

employment

in all kinds of jobs is not pronounced.

Submitted by viethoangnguyen0611 on Tue Sep 12 2023

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.

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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.

Vocabulary: Replace the words employment with synonyms.

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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.

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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "slight" was used 2 times.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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2Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Grammar mistakes
 

3 paragraphs

134 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

employment trends
workforce
sector
industry
agriculture
services
economic factors
technological advancements
policy changes
notable increases/decreases
statistical data
regional employment patterns
comparative analysis
percentage points
employment rate

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The chart below give the number of people employed in five types of work in a certain region in Australia in 2001 and 2008. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some people think that going to the gym is the best way to keep fit. Others think that there are many better methods. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

More and more parents begin to allow their children to play on computers and tablets as they think children should learn technology skills. Do advantages of this outweigh its disadvantages or not?

Due to the development and expansion of supermarkets, some local businesses are unable to compete. Some people think that closing off the local markets will bring the death of local communities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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