The chart below give the number of people employed in five types of work in a certain region in Australia in 2001 and 2008. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below give the number of people employed in five types of work in a certain region in Australia in 2001 and 2008. 

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The bar chart illustrates the number of people employed in 5 kinds of occupation, namely sales, computing, accounting, nursing, and farming in a specific area in Australia in the eight-year period from 2001 to 2008.
Overall
Linking Words
, during the period,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
employment
Use synonyms
in sales jobs maintains
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the highest figure among the
employment
Use synonyms
in 5 types of work at about 180000 employees, orderly followed by the
employment
Use synonyms
in computing, accounting, nursing, and farming. The number of people employed in farming is the lowest with about 25000 employees. In detail, during the period, there
is
Wrong verb form
was
show examples
a slight increase in the number of employees working in sales, computing and nursing. Meanwhile, the figure of people working in accounting and farming experienced a slight decrease.
However
Linking Words
, the fluctuation of
employment
Use synonyms
in all kinds of jobs is not pronounced.
Submitted by viethoangnguyen0611 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words employment with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "slight" was used 2 times.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • employment trends
  • workforce
  • sector
  • industry
  • agriculture
  • services
  • economic factors
  • technological advancements
  • policy changes
  • notable increases/decreases
  • statistical data
  • regional employment patterns
  • comparative analysis
  • percentage points
  • employment rate
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