Children nowadays watch significantly more television than in the past, which reduces their activity levels accordingly. Why is this case? What measures can you suggest to encourage higher levels of activity among children?

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It is widely recognized that

children

Use synonyms

watch

Use synonyms

more than in the past giving rise to

decrease

Correct article usage

a decrease

show examples

their

Change preposition

in their

show examples

levels of

activity

Use synonyms

This

Linking Words

essay will first outline the underlying reasons behind

this

Linking Words

trend before suggesting some ways to foster their high level of

activity

Use synonyms

. The decrease in

activity

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levels among

children

Use synonyms

is attributed to the recent advancement of technology. One of these is that

children

Use synonyms

can easily get access to fascinating

Use synonyms

channels and programs attracting their mindset.

Consequently

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

is inclined to render them vulnerable to addiction to watching

Use synonyms

and not to engage in other

activities

Use synonyms

such

Linking Words

as reading books or playing puzzles.

Addition

Change preposition

In addition

show examples

this

Linking Words

, everything for their

activities

Use synonyms

is available in front of the screen thanks to

Internet

Add an article

the Internet

show examples

This

Linking Words

can be seen in

this

Linking Words

way, if a child wants to learn about glass painting, he will search on

Youtube

Correct your spelling

YouTube

show examples

containing

Wrong verb form

which contains

show examples

a plethora of tutorial videos without having to attend physical classes. In order to encourage

children

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’s high levels of

activity

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, the

assistants

Fix the agreement mistake

assistance

show examples

parents

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are

Correct subject-verb agreement

show examples

wholly warranted. First of all,

parents

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should make rules regarding

Remove the preposition

apply

show examples

the watch time for

children

Use synonyms

Children

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tend to watch

Use synonyms

as long as they want if nobody manages their watching time.

Parents

Use synonyms

therefore

Linking Words

, should allow them to watch

Use synonyms

two

Change preposition

for two

show examples

or three hours per day, it will help them to take part in more physical

activities

Use synonyms

Furthermore

Linking Words

, going for an evening walk along the beaches or visiting parks would reduce their addiction to

Use synonyms

Besides

Linking Words

, these

activities

Use synonyms

also

Linking Words

pique

curiosity

Correct article usage

the curiosity

show examples

and creativity of

children

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To conclude

Linking Words

due to

Linking Words

technology development,

children

Use synonyms

are less engaged in other

activities

Use synonyms

For

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

reason,

parents

Use synonyms

should intervene in their watching time and

incentive

Correct your spelling

incentivise

show examples

them to participate in other

activities

Use synonyms

huynhtrucminhthu39Tue Sep 12 2023

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
12
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

284 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

accessibility
content
digital platforms
on-demand streaming services
babysitting
marketing
urban environments
structured screen time
physical activity
treasure hunts
educational campaigns
curriculum
after-school sports programs
gamification
fitness apps

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Children nowadays watch significantly more television than in the past, which reduces their activity levels accordingly. Why is this case? What measures can you suggest to encourage higher levels of activity among children?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

You have just won two tickets to a concert and want to invite your friend to go with you. Write a letter to your friend. In this letter: Give details about the concert. Describe how you won the tickets. Explain why you have chosen your friend to go with you.

Students today can easily access information online, so libraries are no longer necessary. Do you agree or disagree?

In many countries nowadays, consumers can go to a supermarket and buy food produced all over the world. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

The most important aim of science should be to improve people's lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In a number of countries, some people think it is necessary to spend large sums of money on constructing new railway lines for very fast trains between cities. Others believe the money should be spent on improving existing public transport. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.