Children nowadays watch significantly more television than in the past, which reduces their activity levels accordingly. Why is this case? What measures can you suggest to encourage higher levels of activity among children?

It is widely recognized that
children
watch
TV
more than in the past giving rise to
decrease
Correct article usage
a decrease
show examples
their
Change preposition
in their
show examples
levels of
activity
.
This
essay will first outline the underlying reasons behind
this
trend before suggesting some ways to foster their high level of
activity
. The decrease in
activity
levels among
children
is attributed to the recent advancement of technology. One of these is that
children
can easily get access to fascinating
TV
channels and programs attracting their mindset.
Consequently
,
this
is inclined to render them vulnerable to addiction to watching
TV
and not to engage in other
activities
such
as reading books or playing puzzles.
Addition
Change preposition
In addition
show examples
to
this
, everything for their
activities
is available in front of the screen thanks to
Internet
Add an article
the Internet
show examples
.
This
can be seen in
this
way, if a child wants to learn about glass painting, he will search on
Youtube
Correct your spelling
YouTube
show examples
containing
Wrong verb form
which contains
show examples
a plethora of tutorial videos without having to attend physical classes. In order to encourage
children
’s high levels of
activity
, the
assistants
Fix the agreement mistake
assistance
show examples
of
parents
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
wholly warranted. First of all,
parents
should make rules regarding
to
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
the watch time for
children
.
Children
tend to watch
TV
as long as they want if nobody manages their watching time.
Parents
,
therefore
, should allow them to watch
TV
two
Change preposition
for two
show examples
or three hours per day, it will help them to take part in more physical
activities
.
Furthermore
, going for an evening walk along the beaches or visiting parks would reduce their addiction to
TV
.
Besides
, these
activities
also
pique
curiosity
Correct article usage
the curiosity
show examples
and creativity of
children
.
To conclude
,
due to
technology development,
children
are less engaged in other
activities
.
For
this
reason,
parents
should intervene in their watching time and
incentive
Correct your spelling
incentivise
show examples
them to participate in other
activities
.
Submitted by huynhtrucminhthu39 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • accessibility
  • content
  • digital platforms
  • on-demand streaming services
  • babysitting
  • marketing
  • urban environments
  • structured screen time
  • physical activity
  • treasure hunts
  • educational campaigns
  • curriculum
  • after-school sports programs
  • gamification
  • fitness apps
What to do next:
Look at other essays: