5.The availability of entertainment such as playing electronic games on portable devices will be harmful to individuals in the society they live in. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#availability #entertainment #games #devices #individuals #society

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There is a growing preference for video

games

over other leisure activities in more and more countries. In the following paragraphs, I am going to discuss the detrimental effects on our societies. First and foremost, portable equipment means a small technology

such

as a phone, iPad, or switch that can be transported from place to place easily. Youngsters may like to spend time playing it

while

they are waiting for buses or subways.

As a result

, injuries or accidents may happen.

Besides

, a person may react negatively. To explain, he or she’s attention, and mood may be controlled by whether they win the

games

or not.

Secondly

, spending too much time on these portable equipment

instead

of other entertainment can lead a student to lower his or her academic performance at school.

Besides

, without doing some sports, these teenagers or young adults may destroy their health.

Moreover

, workers' performance or attitudes may decline because they always think about their

games

at the workplace,

thus

, these employees may be fired in the end.

Furthermore

, a person’s relationship with friends or family may be negatively affected by portable devices. In conclusion, people who are addicted to watching or playing

games

may have physical or psychological health problems.

In addition

, students’ scores, workers’ careers, and relationships with other people may have detrimental results.

Hence

, portable devices will be harmful to individuals in the society they live in.

Submitted by annie5342586 on Tue Sep 12 2023

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11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

234 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

detrimental
adverse
excessive
physical and mental health issues
dependency
hinder
social skills development
academic performance
productivity
real-life experiences
social interactions
addiction
gambling
harmful behaviors

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5.The availability of entertainment such as playing electronic games on portable devices will be harmful to individuals in the society they live in. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some people feel that manufacturers and supermarkets have the responsibility to reduce the amount of packaging of goods. Others argue that customers should avoid buying goods with a lot of packaging. Discuss both views and give your opinion. (rewrite)

As the world becomes technologically advanced,computers are replacing people at more and more jobs. what are some job positions that may be lost because of computers?What are some problems that may result from this situation?

One of the widely discussed issues nowadays is that Governments impose extra taxes on flights to restrict tourism industry. It is undeniable that tourism has become an essential part of our life.

MANY PEOPLE WHO CARE FOR THE ELDERLY DO NOT HAVE ENOUGH TIME TO LOOK AFTER THEM. WHAT ARE THE PROBLEMS RELATED TO THIS? WHAT ARE SOME POSSIBLE SOLUTIONS?