5.The availability of entertainment such as playing electronic games on portable devices will be harmful to individuals in the society they live in. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#availability #entertainment #games #devices #individuals #society

There is a growing preference for video

games

over other leisure activities in more and more countries. In the following paragraphs, I am going to discuss the detrimental effects on our societies. First and foremost, portable equipment means a small technology

such

as a phone, iPad, or switch that can be transported from place to place easily. Youngsters may like to spend time playing it

while

they are waiting for buses or subways.

As a result

, injuries or accidents may happen.

Besides

, a person may react negatively. To explain, he or she’s attention, and mood may be controlled by whether they win the

games

or not.

Secondly

, spending too much time on these portable equipment

instead

of other entertainment can lead a student to lower his or her academic performance at school.

Besides

, without doing some sports, these teenagers or young adults may destroy their health.

Moreover

, workers' performance or attitudes may decline because they always think about their

games

at the workplace,

thus

, these employees may be fired in the end.

Furthermore

, a person’s relationship with friends or family may be negatively affected by portable devices. In conclusion, people who are addicted to watching or playing

games

may have physical or psychological health problems.

In addition

, students’ scores, workers’ careers, and relationships with other people may have detrimental results.

Hence

, portable devices will be harmful to individuals in the society they live in.

Submitted by annie5342586 on Tue Sep 12 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

234 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

detrimental
adverse
excessive
physical and mental health issues
dependency
hinder
social skills development
academic performance
productivity
real-life experiences
social interactions
addiction
gambling
harmful behaviors

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

6
band
Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others, however, say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
It is argued that the sports facilities should be increased in number to improve citizens’ health, while others claim that other initiatives are more essential to be conducted. While I support the idea that installing more sports facilities would help ordinary people to enhance their general health, I am more convinced that other effective measures should be taken.
<4
band
Many feel that today’s increasing demand for oil and gas must prompt scientists to look for new, future energy sources. Others feel we should not search for new energy sources because searching causes too much damage to the environment. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Some people believe that scientists should consider new and alternative energy sources because of the ever-increasing demand for gas and oil. However, others believe that we should not search for alternatives because that causes damage to the environment. I personally believe that while finding alternative energy sources can cause environmental damage, searching for new alternative energy sources will help to reduce pollution.
5.5
band
An increasing number of people are buying what they need online. What are the advantages and disadvantages for both individuals and companies to shopping on line.
Nowadays, large number of people are relying on online market for shopping purposes. Online market places reduce the cost of maintaining physical stores and staff for the companies, and at the same time, they eliminates the effort of going to the store for the buyer. Conversely, buying product online levies an overhead of return system on the seller and the consumer also has trust issues regarding the quality of the product. In this essay, merits and demerits of this particular habit will be discussed.
6.5
band
Mrs Barrett, an English-speaking woman who lives in your town, has advertised for someone to help her in her home for a few hours a day next summer. Write a letter to Mrs Barrett. In your letter: • suggest how you could help her in her home • say why you would like to do this work • explain when you will and will not be available Begin your letter as follows: Dear …………….,
I hope this letter finds you in good health. My name is John Monta, and I am writing in response to your advertisement seeking a house helper in The City Times Newspaper. I want to express my keen interest in this opportunity.
5.5
band
Some people think that all university students should study whatever they like. Others believe that they should only be allowed to study subjects that will be useful in the future, such as those related to science and technology. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
People have different views about whether students should study their interests or be limited to studying such subjects will be required later in science and technology fields. While society needs more experts in science and technology, students' interests are more significant and I beg to differ with limitations regarding this subject.

5.The availability of entertainment such as playing electronic games on portable devices will be harmful to individuals in the society they live in. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others, however, say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Many feel that today’s increasing demand for oil and gas must prompt scientists to look for new, future energy sources. Others feel we should not search for new energy sources because searching causes too much damage to the environment. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

An increasing number of people are buying what they need online. What are the advantages and disadvantages for both individuals and companies to shopping on line.

Some people think that all university students should study whatever they like. Others believe that they should only be allowed to study subjects that will be useful in the future, such as those related to science and technology. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.