5.The availability of entertainment such as playing electronic games on portable devices will be harmful to individuals in the society they live in. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#availability #entertainment #games #devices #individuals #society

There is a growing preference for video

games

over other leisure activities in more and more countries. In the following paragraphs, I am going to discuss the detrimental effects on our societies. First and foremost, portable equipment means a small technology

such

as a phone, iPad, or switch that can be transported from place to place easily. Youngsters may like to spend time playing it

while

they are waiting for buses or subways.

As a result

, injuries or accidents may happen.

Besides

, a person may react negatively. To explain, he or she’s attention, and mood may be controlled by whether they win the

games

or not.

Secondly

, spending too much time on these portable equipment

instead

of other entertainment can lead a student to lower his or her academic performance at school.

Besides

, without doing some sports, these teenagers or young adults may destroy their health.

Moreover

, workers' performance or attitudes may decline because they always think about their

games

at the workplace,

thus

, these employees may be fired in the end.

Furthermore

, a person’s relationship with friends or family may be negatively affected by portable devices. In conclusion, people who are addicted to watching or playing

games

may have physical or psychological health problems.

In addition

, students’ scores, workers’ careers, and relationships with other people may have detrimental results.

Hence

, portable devices will be harmful to individuals in the society they live in.

Submitted by annie5342586 on Tue Sep 12 2023

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

234 words

6.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

detrimental
adverse
excessive
physical and mental health issues
dependency
hinder
social skills development
academic performance
productivity
real-life experiences
social interactions
addiction
gambling
harmful behaviors

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5.The availability of entertainment such as playing electronic games on portable devices will be harmful to individuals in the society they live in. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some people think that the best way for developing countries to eradicate poverty is to provide six years of free education to every child. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Some people believe zoos are good places for people to learn about animals. Other people believe animals belong in nature and it is wrong to keep them in zoos. What do you think? Explain, giving specific reasons for your choice.

Details of politicians’ private lives should not be published in newspapers. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people say that economic growth is the only way to end hunger and poverty, while others say that economic growth is damaging the environment so it must be stopped. Discuss both views and give your opinion.