5.The availability of entertainment such as playing electronic games on portable devices will be harmful to individuals in the society they live in. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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There is a growing preference for video

games

Use synonyms

over other leisure activities in more and more countries. In the following paragraphs, I am going to discuss the detrimental effects on our societies. First and foremost, portable equipment means a small technology

such

Linking Words

as a phone, iPad, or switch that can be transported from place to place easily. Youngsters may like to spend time playing it

while

Linking Words

they are waiting for buses or subways.

As a result

Linking Words

, injuries or accidents may happen.

Besides

Linking Words

, a person may react negatively. To explain, he or she’s attention, and mood may be controlled by whether they win the

games

Use synonyms

or not.

Secondly

Linking Words

, spending too much time on these portable equipment

instead

Linking Words

of other entertainment can lead a student to lower his or her academic performance at school.

Besides

Linking Words

, without doing some sports, these teenagers or young adults may destroy their health.

Moreover

Linking Words

, workers' performance or attitudes may decline because they always think about their

games

Use synonyms

at the workplace,

thus

Linking Words

, these employees may be fired in the end.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, a person’s relationship with friends or family may be negatively affected by portable devices. In conclusion, people who are addicted to watching or playing

games

Use synonyms

may have physical or psychological health problems.

In addition

Linking Words

, students’ scores, workers’ careers, and relationships with other people may have detrimental results.

Hence

Linking Words

, portable devices will be harmful to individuals in the society they live in.

annie5342586Tue Sep 12 2023

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

234 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

detrimental
adverse
excessive
physical and mental health issues
dependency
hinder
social skills development
academic performance
productivity
real-life experiences
social interactions
addiction
gambling
harmful behaviors

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5.The availability of entertainment such as playing electronic games on portable devices will be harmful to individuals in the society they live in. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

People today often use the internet to learn about the culture of other countries. This means that it is not that important to travel to those countries. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe that they should be able to keep all the money they earn and should not pay tax to the state. To what extent do you agree or disagree？ Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Some people think that children should start school at a very early age, but others believe that they should not go to school until they are older. Discuss both these views and give your opinion

In modern society, it is possible to go shopping, work, and accommodate via the Internet without face-to-face contact with one another. To what extent do you think this is a positive or negative development.