In the modern world it is possible to shop, work and communicate with people via the internet and live without any face-to-face contact with others. Is it a positive or negative development in your opinion?

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Nowadays, thanks to the progress of the

Internet

, numerous tasks

such

as shopping, working, and communicating are now made possible without the need for face-to-face interaction. Despite several negative effects, I believe that

this

overall

a positive development. On the one hand, living without human interaction results in several adverse impacts.

Firstly

, it can cause people to feel lonely.

This

is because communication through the

Internet

is unable to replace the feeling of expressing our feelings and engaging in face-to-face interactions.

Secondly

Internet

usage brings many potential risks.

For example

, trading on the

Internet

carries a greater risk of fraudulent activities

such

as buying fake goods and even losing money through payment transactions.

However

, I think

this

trend is a strongly positive development. First of all, it helps everyone save time.

For example

, online shoppers do not need to go to physical stores in order to find products they want to buy.

Instead

, they just stay at home, surf e-commerce platforms and make purchases without queuing for payment like in crowded stores.

Secondly

, the

Internet

can allow easier communication between people. We can work remotely, shop without leaving the house, and stay in touch with friends and family members living far away.

For example

, employees of foreign companies can meet partners easily via the

Internet

without having to travel more than 1000 km for in-person meetings. In conclusion, despite several negatives related to the lack of direct interaction, I strongly believe that the ability to shop, work and communicate via the

Internet

overall

a positive development.

Submitted by Nhu Pham on Wed Nov 29 2023

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task achievement

Ensure that your main points are more explicitly linked to the question prompt to remain relevant. Provide more specific examples to strengthen your argument and illustrate your points. While your main ideas are clear, offering concrete examples can enhance the reader's understanding and reinforce your position.

coherence cohesion

Your essay presents a logical structure and there is a clear progression of ideas. However, you can further improve coherence by better linking paragraphs and ensuring smoother transitions between them. In terms of cohesion, try to vary your linking devices and avoid repetition. Including synonyms and paraphrases can enhance language richness and flow.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

258 words

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In the modern world it is possible to shop, work and communicate with people via the internet and live without any face-to-face contact with others. Is it a positive or negative development in your opinion?

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

Nowadays many people choose to be self-employed, rather than to work for a company or organisation. Why might this be the case? What could be the disadvantages of being self-employed?

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You should spend about 40 mins. Write about the following topic: Many people think that mobile phones should be banned in public places such as libraries, shops and public transport. Do you agree or disagree?