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In the modern world it is possible to shop, work and communicate with people via the internet and live without any face-to-face contact with others. Is it a positive or negative development in your opinion?

#world #shop #work #people #internet #contact #development
Nowadays, thanks to the progress of the
Internet
, numerous tasks
such
 as shopping, working, and communicating are now made possible without the need for face-to-face interaction. Despite several negative effects, I believe that
this
 is
overall
 a positive development. On the one hand, living without human interaction results in several adverse impacts.
Firstly
, it can cause people to feel lonely.
This
 is because communication through the
Internet
 is unable to replace the feeling of expressing our feelings and engaging in face-to-face interactions.
Secondly
,
Internet
 usage brings many potential risks.
For example
, trading on the
Internet
 carries a greater risk of fraudulent activities
such
 as buying fake goods and even losing money through payment transactions.
However
, I think
this
 trend is a strongly positive development. First of all, it helps everyone save time.
For example
, online shoppers do not need to go to physical stores in order to find products they want to buy.
Instead
, they just stay at home, surf e-commerce platforms and make purchases without queuing for payment like in crowded stores.
Secondly
, the
Internet
 can allow easier communication between people. We can work remotely, shop without leaving the house, and stay in touch with friends and family members living far away.
For example
, employees of foreign companies can meet partners easily via the
Internet
 without having to travel more than 1000 km for in-person meetings. In conclusion, despite several negatives related to the lack of direct interaction, I strongly believe that the ability to shop, work and communicate via the
Internet
 is
overall
 a positive development.
Submitted by Nhu Pham on

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task achievement
Ensure that your main points are more explicitly linked to the question prompt to remain relevant. Provide more specific examples to strengthen your argument and illustrate your points. While your main ideas are clear, offering concrete examples can enhance the reader's understanding and reinforce your position.
coherence cohesion
Your essay presents a logical structure and there is a clear progression of ideas. However, you can further improve coherence by better linking paragraphs and ensuring smoother transitions between them. In terms of cohesion, try to vary your linking devices and avoid repetition. Including synonyms and paraphrases can enhance language richness and flow.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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