IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

It is better to learn the way people lived in the past through films and video records than written documents. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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It is true that
documents
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 and
videos
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 are the methods for
people
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 to learn about the past.
This
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 essay will explain why I totally agree that films are better than dissertations for
people
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 to find out about the past Admittedly, there is good reason to say that
videos
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 are better than
documents
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. First and foremost,
people
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 do not need to use their imagination when reading the
documents
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.
For instance
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, if
people
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 watch films, they can know exactly what happened in the past.
Moreover
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, they will know how
people
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 could go through that hard time.
However
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,
people
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 may struggle to imagine when reading papers. It is difficult for
people
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 to know how
people
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 lived in the past by their imagination. Video clips will make
people
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's study easier than ever
In addition
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, there is
also
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 a compelling reason to say that written dissertations are not as efficient as video video records.
To begin
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 with,
people
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 in the past might take notes wrong. To illustrate, I had read the wrong
information
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 from an old article.
Therefore
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, I had remembered the wrong
information
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 for a long time until I saw a clip about it.
Due to
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 that wrong knowledge, I had to put more resources into finding the truth.
This
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 will leave
people
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 unable to have time for other
information
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.
Videos
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 can not give the incorrect
information
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.
Consequently
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, more
people
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 require
videos
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 than
documents
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 In conclusion, there is more effort involved in recording than in writing.
Nevertheless
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.
videos
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 can bring a significant number of benefits to
people
Use synonyms
's live

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task response
Improve coherence and cohesion by using a more structured approach with clear topic sentences and supporting details. Make sure to fully address the task question by presenting a balanced view with clear arguments and examples.
coherence and cohesion
Enhance coherence and cohesion by using transition words and phrases to connect ideas and ensure a clear flow of information. Check for sentence and paragraph-level coherence to improve the overall organization of the essay.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • historical events
  • visual representation
  • immerse
  • bring to life
  • accuracy
  • bias
  • limited scope
  • perspective
  • incomplete
  • superficial
  • detailed
  • reliable
  • primary sources
  • firsthand accounts
  • critical analysis
  • interpretation
  • balance
  • comprehensive understanding
  • critical thinking skills
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