IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 8

The table below gives information about the problems faced by children in two primary schools in 2005 and 2015.

The table below gives information about the problems faced by children in two primary schools in 2005 and 2015.
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The table provides information regarding the proportion of
students
Use synonyms
 who faced a variety of educational problems in School A and School B in the years 2005 and 2015.
Overall
Linking Words
, a larger percentage of
students
Use synonyms
 in Organization A faced difficulties than
students
Use synonyms
 in Organization B in both the years considered.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, in educational institution A, there was a reduction in the percentage of
students
Use synonyms
 who had issues related to spelling, listening skills, verbal expression of ideas, concentration in lessons, and following instructions in the decade.
However
Linking Words
, the Reading ability problem which was 22% in 2005 increased to 23% during the period and it is evident that there was no progress in the student's count for handwriting issues.
It is clear that
Linking Words
 in educational institution B, student proportion grew by 1% for the problems concerning studying ,listening and verbal expression during the time period considered. Moving
further
Linking Words
, the same trend was seen in spelling and following instruction problems but with a greater figure increment.
Additionally
Linking Words
, there was no change in writing and concentration skill concerns.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words students with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: