Serious violent crimes among people who are under-18 are becoming more common. Some people think that children who commit serious crimes should be treated like adults, while others would say that they should be rehabilitated. Disucss both these views and give your own opinion.

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Major violent offences are being carried out by children more often.
While
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some would argue that they should get the same treatment as grown-ups because
this
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

would ensure that the victims are given justice, I believe that they are not old enough to be aware of what they are
doung
Correct your spelling
doing

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, and rehabilitation is a better option. On the one hand, treating young violent criminals like they are
over-18
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over 18

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gives the victims justice.
Someonw
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Someone

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who has lost a loved one would find it very difficult if the perpetrator was not sentenced to prison because they are not old enough. Their relative is still dead or injured no matter how old the criminal is.
For example
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, the mother of Jamie Bulger said that it was like the crime happening all over again when she heard her son’s murderers were released earlier than expected because they committed the crime when they were only 11 years old.
However
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, I believe that a criminal’s age should be taken into consideration because they are not fully developed as human beings.
On the other hand
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, it is thought that children who carry out acts of violence are not aware of their actions because of their age. A young child does not know, to the same degree as adults, that their violent actions will result in death or serious injury.
This
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is why young murderers in the United Kingdom are rehabilitated and given new identities so that they can live
a
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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normal adult
life
Replace the word
lives

The word life doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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outside of prison. I believe
this
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school of thought is preferable because it helps
the
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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young
criminal
Fix the agreement mistake
criminals

It seems that criminal may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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reform and ensures that they do not carry out serious crimes again. In conclusion,
although
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

sending young criminals who have committed violent atrocities to adult prisons gives the
victimes
Correct your spelling
victims

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some justice, the criminals themselves should
also
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

be seen as victims, because they were not aware of their actions and
that is
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why trying to make them model citizens again is a more preferable option.
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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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