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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The charts below show what UK graduate and postgraduate students who did not go into full-time work did after leaving college in 2008. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where revelant

The charts below show what UK graduate and postgraduate students who did not go into full-time work did after leaving college in 2008. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where revelant
#show #uk #graduate #students #work #college #summarise #information #features #comparisons #revelant
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The bar charts illustrate the number of graduate and postgraduate
students
Use synonyms
 who opted for other options other than full-time
work
Use synonyms
 after completing
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
college in the UK in the year 2008.
Overall
Linking Words
,
Further
Linking Words
 study was the most chosen option by both
while
Linking Words
 only
few
Change the article
a few
show examples
 graduates chose voluntary
work
Use synonyms
 post completing
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
college.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, after graduation, 29,665
students
Use synonyms
 proceeded for
further
Linking Words
 study which is approximately twice the number of
students
Use synonyms
 who stayed unemployed. Part-time
work
Use synonyms
 was the second
popular
Correct quantifier usage
most popular
show examples
 option among the graduates with
17,735
Correct article usage
a 17,735
show examples
 figure. Only 3,500 undergraduates went for voluntary
work
Use synonyms
. The popularity of the options stayed the same in both undergraduate and postgraduate
students
Use synonyms
. It is evident that after
post graduation
Add a hyphen
post-graduation
show examples
, the number of
students
Use synonyms
 who chose
part time
Add a hyphen
part-time
show examples
work
Use synonyms
 and
further
Linking Words
 study was within the range of 2500 to 2800
scholar
Fix the agreement mistake
scholars
show examples
. Moving
further
Linking Words
,1625
students
Use synonyms
 did not get the job and only 345 postgraduates selected voluntary activities.
Submitted by kavitha7797 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "further".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words students, work with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "stayed" was used 2 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • full-time work
  • graduate
  • postgraduate
  • trends
  • part-time work
  • further study
  • gap year
  • traveling
  • unemployment
  • percentages
  • proportion
  • significant differences
  • subsequent activities
  • career progression
  • academic advancement
  • job market
  • vocational training
  • data interpretation
  • employment sector
  • career-oriented steps
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