IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

The chart below shows the results of a survey about people's coffee and tea buying and drinking habits in five Australian cities.

The chart below shows the results of a survey about people's coffee and tea buying and drinking habits in five Australian cities.
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The given bar chart illustrates the percentages of city residents drinking and buying cappuccino and tea in four weeks in Sydney, Melbourne, Brisbane, Adelaide and
Hobart
Use synonyms
.
Overall
Linking Words
, people the most went to cafes to buy coffee or tea.
In addition
Linking Words
, instant espresso was sold a lot more than fresh coffee in all five Australian cities.
Firstly
Linking Words
, most of the population of the city went to buy cappuccino and tea in cafes for 4 weeks which was over 60% in Sydney, Melbourne and
Hobart
Use synonyms
while
Linking Words
 Brisbane was approximately 55 per cent and less than 50% in Adelaide.
Secondly
Linking Words
, buying instant coffee in all five cities was higher than 45%.
Moreover
Linking Words
, it was about 54% in
Hobart
Use synonyms
.
Lastly
Linking Words
, Brisbane and Adelaide had the same results in buying fresh caffeine which was a little less than 35 per cent.
Additionally
Linking Words
, Sydney, Melbourne and
Hobart
Use synonyms
 were approximately 44%, 42% and 38% respectively.

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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words hobart with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • survey results
  • coffee and tea buying habits
  • instant coffee
  • fresh coffee
  • cafe culture
  • social influences
  • economic factors
  • city demographics
  • seasonal trends
  • marketing strategies
  • consumer preferences
  • availability
  • popularity
  • consumption patterns
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