The chart below shows the results of a survey about people's coffee and tea buying and drinking habits in five Australian cities.

The chart below shows the results of a survey about people's coffee and tea buying and drinking habits in five Australian cities.
The given bar chart illustrates the percentages of city residents drinking and buying cappuccino and tea in four weeks in Sydney, Melbourne, Brisbane, Adelaide and
Hobart
.
Overall
, people the most went to cafes to buy coffee or tea.
In addition
, instant espresso was sold a lot more than fresh coffee in all five Australian cities.
Firstly
, most of the population of the city went to buy cappuccino and tea in cafes for 4 weeks which was over 60% in Sydney, Melbourne and
Hobart
while
Brisbane was approximately 55 per cent and less than 50% in Adelaide.
Secondly
, buying instant coffee in all five cities was higher than 45%.
Moreover
, it was about 54% in
Hobart
.
Lastly
, Brisbane and Adelaide had the same results in buying fresh caffeine which was a little less than 35 per cent.
Additionally
, Sydney, Melbourne and
Hobart
were approximately 44%, 42% and 38% respectively.
Submitted by sevinch.ibragimova5696 on

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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words hobart with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • survey results
  • coffee and tea buying habits
  • instant coffee
  • fresh coffee
  • cafe culture
  • social influences
  • economic factors
  • city demographics
  • seasonal trends
  • marketing strategies
  • consumer preferences
  • availability
  • popularity
  • consumption patterns
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