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Writing Samples
Band 6

the charts below show information about honey-bee colonies and honey production in the US

the charts below show information about honey-bee colonies and honey production in the US
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The chart shows information about US
honey
Use synonyms
-bee colonies and
honey
Use synonyms
 production. In 1970, There were 4 million
bees
Use synonyms
 in the US. From 1970 to 1980, the
number
Use synonyms
 of
bees
Use synonyms
 increased to 4.2 million.
However
Linking Words
, the
number
Use synonyms
 of
bees
Use synonyms
 decreased to 1.3 million. In 1970, there were 130,000 tonnes of
honey
Use synonyms
 in the US. The tonne of
honey
Use synonyms
 decreased to 110,000 in 1980. In 1990,
Correct article usage
the amount
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amount
Correct article usage
the amount
show examples
 of
honey
Use synonyms
 increased to 120,000.
Although
Linking Words
 the amount of
honey
Use synonyms
 increased in 1990, since 2000 the amount of
honey
Use synonyms
 has decreased like the
number
Use synonyms
 of
bees
Use synonyms
 in the the US.
Overall
Linking Words
, the tonne of
honey
Use synonyms
 and the
number
Use synonyms
 of
bees
Use synonyms
 have decreased
about
Change preposition
by about
show examples
 40 years, the
number
Use synonyms
 of
bees
Use synonyms
 affecting
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the tonne of
honey
Use synonyms
 in the US.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words honey, bees, number with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 5 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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