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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

In recent years, many small local shops have closed because customers travel to large shopping centres or malls to do their shopping. Is this a positive or a negative development?

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During
Change preposition
In
show examples
 recent times, it is evident that the public prefers to purchase necessities in shopping complexes rather than visiting small local
shops
Use synonyms
. I unequivocally believe that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
this
Linking Words
 is indeed a negative development for the local shop owners because they are running out of business. People prefer shopping malls because a plethora of
shops
Use synonyms
, selling a greater variety of products, is
avaiable
Correct your spelling
available
 in a single complex or building. Nowadays, with many involved in the hustle and bustle culture, people do not have sufficient time in order to visit different local
shops
Use synonyms
 to purchase different items.
Instead
Linking Words
, they believe stopping by a mall, would help them save time as all goods are available under one roof.
However
Linking Words
, the growth of shopping complexes
put
Wrong verb form
puts
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 local businesses at a disadvantage. The reason is that, as
lesser
Correct word choice
fewer
show examples
 customers visit local
shops
Use synonyms
, the amount of profits received substantially reduces, to a point after which the business cannot be sustained.
Hence
Linking Words
, the
shops
Use synonyms
 close and the locals working there become unemployed. Many people working in local businesses are already citizens of the nation who are faced with poverty. Stripping their only job from them would cause
further
Linking Words
 damage as their basic needs
such
Linking Words
 as housing, food, clothing and medical care can no longer be met. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
 it is convenient for us to shop at malls, we need to keep in mind
about
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the downfall of local businesses, and their workers. If not us, who would support them?

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • retail outlets
  • consumer behavior
  • shop locally
  • convenience
  • variety
  • economic growth
  • job creation
  • community
  • personal touch
  • small businesses
  • local economy
  • big corporations
  • dependence
  • shopping habits
  • urbanization
  • globalization
  • competition
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