Studying art in school improves students' performance in other subjects, because it is easier for multi-skilled students to learn new things. That's why art should be obligatory in schools. Do you agree or disagree?

Sometimes, there was a controversial debate about the compulsory
art
lesson and their advantages and disadvantages to the comprehensive student’s academic performance on a public forum, where
member
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members
show examples
divided into two stark opposite opinion groups.
This
essay absolutely
agree
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agrees
show examples
with the application
art
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of art
show examples
lecture in
curriculum
Correct article usage
the curriculum
show examples
because studying
art
can develop creativity ability in the making process, whilst
this
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
also
boost
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boosting
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delicacy skill and focusing on the work. Admittedly, innovation
responsible
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is responsible
show examples
for the key determinant to the soul’s masterpiece, so people are required
strengthen
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to strengthen
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creativity ability in the craft process. Many reputation artists try to restrain their
innovative
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innovation
show examples
by doing new activities, doing some extreme sports or sightseeing more distinctive
art
galaries
Correct your spelling
galleries
, just to find new inspiration for catering
produce
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to produce
show examples
their artworks. Apparently, more canvas artwork and sculpture were produced
base
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based
show examples
on the World War II events, where
artisan
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artisans
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with war inspiration
depicts
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depicted
show examples
the
fearless
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fearlessness
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of their population standing up
to
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apply
show examples
against many invaders. With
the
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a
show examples
high level of innovative ideas, people can offer many
innovation
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innovations
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to address many issues struggling in their
life
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lives
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and advance
flying
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their flying
show examples
colour
score
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scores
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especially
deal
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when dealing
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with science academic
lesson
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lessons
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.
Moreover
, the
artwork producing
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artwork-producing
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process
also
require
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requires
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and
enhance
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enhances
show examples
scruntinity
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scrutiny
and focusing capacity into product
accomplisment
Correct your spelling
accomplishment
. In order to complete a masterpiece, artists must have been
remove
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removing
removed
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surrounding
distraction
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distractions
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to improve their concentration and avoid minor
mistake
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mistakes
show examples
because it is hard to repair their recent
error
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errors
show examples
. Meanwhile, they
also
upgrading
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upgraded
show examples
their delicate skill to ameliorate the aesthetics of their caption.
As a consequence
,
student
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students
show examples
with all
lecture
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lectures
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including
art
Correct article usage
the art
show examples
and science curriculum usually achieve more
succesful
Correct your spelling
successful
and better
overall
performance
due to
they
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
own better concentration with delication skills, which make them avoid some silly
mistake
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mistakes
show examples
. In conclusion,
art
have been proven that
this
Correct determiner usage
a
show examples
complementary part
in
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of
show examples
curriculum
Add an article
the curriculum
show examples
as multi-skilled students have
ability
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the ability
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to learn new things and make better outcome with
less mistake
Fix the agreement mistake
fewer mistakes
show examples
.
Submitted by lenam2k1 on

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overall
The essay provides relevant examples and arguments, but the coherence and structure need improvement. The introduction and conclusion need to be clearer, and there needs to be a better flow between ideas. The response to the task is partial, and the ideas are not fully developed.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Cognitive development
  • Critical thinking
  • Motor skills
  • Creativity
  • Perspectives
  • Emotional outlet
  • Cultural appreciation
  • Global awareness
  • Historical art movements
  • Spatial intelligence
  • Curriculum overload
  • Non-competitive
  • Exposure
  • Cross-disciplinary benefits
What to do next:
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