IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people claim that the government should provide free health care. Others think that the government will not provide the most innovative methods of treatment and it’s better to invest those funds in education and culture. What is your opinion?

#people #government #health #care #methods #treatment #it’s #funds #education #culture
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Public concern has arisen about whether the government should provide funding for free medical services or spend money on learning and civilization. I tend to believe that the ministry should allocate more financial resources to public health. Both views will be discussed in upcoming paragraphs before reaching a conclusion. Public health services require more funding because of the following reasons. The primary reason to take into consideration is that an individual's good well-being is a prerequisite for a healthy society. If people are not well, saving and investing money for cultural and educational purposes is no benefit.
Moreover
Linking Words
, it is widely acknowledged that most of the country's population relies on the management of the country.
Therefore
Linking Words
, it is crucial for the government to spend more money to create a happy and healthy society.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, for value and respect for cultural aspects, the preservation of culture is
also
Linking Words
 very significant for the nation.
Apart from
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
, schooling plays an important part in building a successful career for the upcoming generation.
Hence
Linking Words
, the government should
also
Linking Words
 take care of the cultural and educational areas where improvement is needed.
To conclude
Linking Words
, I believe that an individual's health must be the primary concern of the authorities to improve and innovate new techniques to make people's lives easy and painless. Though they should
also
Linking Words
 spend funds to improve needed areas of art and education without public fitness, education, and culture will not have any foundation to be appreciated.
Submitted by sainisonia422 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: