Write a letter to the director of your company to recommend a group in your local community which deserves help. In your letter, you should tell: why you suggest helping this group how your company can help this group what the benefits your company will in return for.
Dear Sir/ Madam,
I am writing
this
letter to suggest an opinion regarding helping a local community by offering jobs from your company
.
I am living in Warrington, a group of people from Syria has came
there and created a community. As they are new and Wrong verb form
come
has
language barriers they are struggling to live in the UK. I am well aware that our Correct subject-verb agreement
have
company
is well known in terms of helping community
, Add an article
the community
hence
, helping them would be a great one.
As our firm is opening a new outlet in Manchester it would be much appreciated if you could give them jobs, which will be a great stress relief for them in terms of economic
crisis.
Correct article usage
the economic
As a result
of helping in their difficult situation can build a
affection towards our Change the article
an
company
which will increase our company
's output. In addition
to that they can promote our company
through mouth publicity which will be a
added benefit for us.
I expect a positive response from you.
Yours Faithfully,
Tom WilsonChange the article
an
Submitted by ansamerrin987 on
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coherence cohesion
Keep paragraphs focused on single main ideas; this enhances readability. Here, the paragraph addressing the benefit to the company can be better divided into separate ideas.
task achievement
Revise sentences for minor grammatical errors and to improve clarity. For instance, "...a group of people from Syria has came there and..." should be "...a group of people from Syria who have come here and..."
task achievement
You provided a clear recommendation and a rationale for helping the group, which strong covers the task achievement criterion.
task achievement
Your letter has a polite and formal tone suitable for business correspondence.
coherence cohesion
The logical structure of your letter is good; each section addresses different parts of the prompt in a coherent manner.
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