Are classes, such as painting and drawing, are as important to a child's development as other subjects, so it should be compulsory in high schools. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#classes #child #development #subjects #schools

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

It is an indisputable fact that science and technology have permeated almost every aspect of human life and the demand for workers in these two sectors is undoubtedly increasing. High schools, one of whose primary roles is to provide a sufficient supply of manpower for industries, either are pressured into or deliberately focusing on science subjects to cater for

such

Linking Words

an increase.

However

Linking Words

, I believe that students need to dabble in the

arts

Use synonyms

because it not only

benefits

Use synonyms

them socially and emotionally

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

but

also

Linking Words

helps them think creatively and become more patient.

Firstly

Linking Words

children

Use synonyms

who take lessons in painting, sculpting or writing tend to be more creative and patient.

This

Linking Words

is because they need to tap into their imagination in order to create or portray something, and it often takes a great deal of time to make a painting or sculpture or write a piece of poem or prose.

While

Linking Words

the enhanced creativity

benefits

Use synonyms

them in the modern workplace where the ability to think out of the box can help them thrive in the face of the encroachment of automation, patience allows students to pursue their dreams to the end rather than succumbing to hardships along the way to success.

Furthermore

Linking Words

children

Use synonyms

who study the

arts

Use synonyms

learn to express their feelings through different means, and

this

Linking Words

benefits

Use synonyms

them emotionally. the reason for

this

Linking Words

is that not everyone is capable of or willing to tell others about their pain or suffering. In

this

Linking Words

case, drawing and painting can help

children

Use synonyms

freely illustrate their inner thoughts.

Additionally

Linking Words

, those taking art-related courses of their own volition derive great pleasure from doing it, and

therefore

Linking Words

the

arts

Use synonyms

can be a form of recreation after a gruelling day at school.

Finally

Linking Words

children

Use synonyms

can

also

Linking Words

make friends with those who have these interests and passions in common, which surely

benefits

Use synonyms

them socially. In conclusion, teaching

children

Use synonyms

about the

arts

Use synonyms

can foster important virtues

such

Linking Words

as patience and creativity and provide them with various ways to express themselves, unwind and widen their social cycle.

As a result

Linking Words

, schools should make the subjects compulsory in students' best interest.

Mon May 20 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion

Ensure that every paragraph has a clear main idea and that the sequence of points makes it easy for the reader to follow your argument.

task achievement

Introduce more specific examples to support your points, which will make your argument more compelling and concrete.

coherence cohesion

Maintain a consistent tone and avoid minor slips in formality to improve clarity and professionalism.

introduction conclusion present

Clear and well-articulated thesis statement in the introduction, providing a solid foundation for the essay.

coherence cohesion

Logical flow of ideas with each paragraph focusing on a specific point, making the argument coherent and easy to follow.

introduction conclusion present

The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and reaffirms your position, providing a strong end to the essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

350 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

6.5
band
The internet has greatly increased our access to information. To what extent do you think this is a good thing? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your knowledge or experience
These days, mobile phones and computers are ubiquitous through the internet. People can get all the information from the internet. It has merits and demerits, though I think the internet is a good thing because it has made life much easier. This essay discusses it briefly for the following reasons.
6.5
band
What are advantages and disadvantages of leaving your country to live and study aboard?
In recent times, an increasing number of individuals are opting to pursue their studies in popular countries such as Australia, Canada, and the United States of America. This trend is driven by the perceived advantages of international education, which includes a practical learning environment and enhanced preparation for entering the workforce in one's chosen field. However, like any major decision, leaving one's home country for education comes with its own set of pros and cons.
6
band
Today, many people prefer to eat their meals alone. What are the causes of this? How do you think it can influence individuals and society?
The picture of a traditional family while eating lunch or dinner is no longer seen in movies or series, as modern families are characterized by busy people gobbling up their meals alone, possibly doing another task. This social change is caused by certain factors, and exerts pronounced effects on the family and society.
6
band
The tendency for human beings to copy one another is shown in the popularity of fashion in clothes and other consumer goods. Do you agree or disagree?
The Tendency for Human Beings to Imitate One Another in Fashion and Consumer Goods
7
band
You are having a party and want to invite your friend from a different city. Write a letter to your friend. In your letter: Describe why you are having the party Give directions on how to get to the venue Suggest how you can accommodate him/her Write at least 150 words. You do NOT need to write any addresses. Begin your letter as follows: Dear ___,
How have you been doing? Long time no see!

Are classes, such as painting and drawing, are as important to a child's development as other subjects, so it should be compulsory in high schools. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

The internet has greatly increased our access to information. To what extent do you think this is a good thing? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your knowledge or experience

What are advantages and disadvantages of leaving your country to live and study aboard?

Today, many people prefer to eat their meals alone. What are the causes of this? How do you think it can influence individuals and society?

The tendency for human beings to copy one another is shown in the popularity of fashion in clothes and other consumer goods. Do you agree or disagree?