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Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

In a number of countries, some people thinks it is necessary to spend large sums of money on constructing new railway lines for very fast trains between cities. Others believe the money should be spent on improving existing public transport. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#countries #people #sums #money #railway #lines #trains #cities #transport
As now public
tranport
Correct your spelling
transport
 have been increased. The number of cars
are
Verb problem
has
show examples
 increased on roads. Spending large sums of
money
 on constructing new railway
line
Fix the agreement mistake
lines
show examples
 for very fast trains between cities is
also
 good. But spending more
money
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 improving existing public
transport
 is more better idea. In my own opinion, more
money
 should
be spend
Change the verb form
be spent
show examples
 on improving existing public
transport
. My viewpoint is described in the below
information
. Spending large sums on constructing new
railways
Change the noun form
railway
show examples
lines
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
 many
advanatges
Correct your spelling
advantages
 like as new
railways
Change the noun form
railway
show examples
lines
will be
Wrong verb form
are
show examples
 constructed many people will get employment.
However
, as new railway
lines
 will be constructed the
government
 have to give more and more knowledge to the community.
For example
, if the
government
will build
Wrong verb form
builds
show examples
 new
lines
then
 the
government
have
Wrong verb form
also has
show examples
 to
also
Rephrase
apply
show examples
provide
information
 to
public
Add an article
the public
show examples
. From my own knowledge
government
have
Wrong verb form
also has
show examples
 to
also
Rephrase
apply
show examples
teach
public
Correct article usage
the public
show examples
 about more
facilities
about
Change preposition
apply
show examples
using new
facilities
. Spending more
money
 on improving existing public
transport
 have more advantage because the main reason for
this
 is that the
government
 will be free from providing
information
 to the public about new
facilities
.
For example
, spending more on existing
facilities
 will benefit more to the
governement
Correct your spelling
government
as well as
 communities.
however
, the
government
 should focus more on existing public
transport
.
Thus
, improving existing public
transport
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
advanategs
Correct your spelling
advantages
. From my own experience, the
government
 will get more benefits in improving existing public
transport
.
To conclude
, in my viewpoint
information
 in my opinion, the nation should spend more on improving existing public
transport
 because it
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 more advantages
compare
Wrong verb form
compared
show examples
 to spending
large
Add an article
a large
show examples
 amount on constructing
new
Correct article usage
a new
show examples
 railway line in the country.
Submitted by purvaam383 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • infrastructure
  • efficient
  • congestion
  • sustainable
  • environmentally friendly
  • connectivity
  • economic growth
  • public transportation
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