There is a lot of pressure on young people today to succeed academically. As a result, some people believe that non-academic subjects, such as physical education and cookery, should be removed from the school syllabus so that children can concentrate on academic work. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience. .

#pressure #people #subjects #education #cookery #school #syllabus #children #work

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It is undeniable that education is definitely essential for people. Nowadays, young generations feel

amount

Correct article usage

a amount

show examples

pressure

Use synonyms

to be

success

Replace the word

successful

show examples

academically.

As a consequence

Linking Words

, others admit that non-academic subjects must be removed from the

schools

Change to a genitive case

school's

schools'

show examples

syllabus.

Therefore

Linking Words

, younger can focus on their

academic

Fix the agreement mistake

academics

show examples

. In my perspective, I highly disagree that non-academic lessons should be deleted by schools since they have a bunch of positive aspects to be considered.

This

Linking Words

essay will dive deeply into the topic in order to provide some points related to the topic

as well as

Linking Words

their

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

examples. First and foremost, non-academic subjects can emphasise

students

Use synonyms

creativities

Replace the word

creativity

show examples

and mood. They will be resourceful to create something

as a result

Linking Words

of learning the lessons. To elucidate

further

Linking Words

, a cookery lesson can be

favourite

Correct article usage

a favourite

show examples

for female

students

Use synonyms

due to

Linking Words

improving their cooking skills. They will try to make

a delicious food

Remove the article

delicious food

a portion of delicious food

show examples

Change preposition

with

show examples

a new recipe.

Moreover

Linking Words

, in terms of

sport

Fix the agreement mistake

sports

show examples

, male

students

Use synonyms

are super excited when there is a

sport

Change the noun form

sports

show examples

schedule in their school timetables. It will boost their mood;

as a result

Linking Words

, they

stay

Verb problem

apply

show examples

keep learning after the end of

Correct article usage

the sport

show examples

sport

Fix the agreement mistake

sports

show examples

session.

Secondly

Linking Words

students

Use synonyms

got

Wrong verb form

get

show examples

pressure

Use synonyms

in learning because they do not have suitable strategies to address their learning issues.

In addition

Linking Words

, they

fell

Correct your spelling

feel

show examples

stress

Wrong verb form

stressed

show examples

when there is a number of goals which should be achieved by them.

Thy

Correct your spelling

They

show examples

will set their standards, or how to gain

those achievement

Change the determiner

that achievement

those achievements

show examples

. In my opinion, when the results are beyond their expectations,

pressure

Use synonyms

, stress, and

other negative feeling

Change the wording

another negative feeling

other negative feelings

show examples

will appear on their minds.

For example

Linking Words

, when facing national exams, younger choose to focus on learning to get higher

score

Fix the agreement mistake

scores

show examples

. When they have a problem

during

Change preposition

while

show examples

studying, they get

distraction

Replace the word

distracted

show examples

Use synonyms

pressure

Wrong verb form

pressured

show examples

and immediately blame something which is actually not relevant to their study. In conclusion, I believe that non-academic subjects are crucial for pupils as extracurricular activities or

addition

Replace the word

additional

show examples

lessons at schools.

Pressure

Use synonyms

does not

goes

Change the verb form

show examples

this

Linking Words

subject.

Nevertheless

Linking Words

, it appears when

students

Use synonyms

get

stress

Wrong verb form

stressed

show examples

Change preposition

about

show examples

learning.

Submitted by misstiasclassroom on Wed Sep 13 2023

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
28
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

327 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

pressure
succeed
academically
non-academic
physical education
cookery
school syllabus
concentrate
academic work
well-rounded
enhancement
practical skills
balanced education system

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

In some countries younger people are increasingly losing interest in teaching. Why is this happening? What can be done to improve the situation? Give reasons for your answers and include examples from your own experience.

In many countries today, parents are able to choose to send their children to single-sex schools or co-educational schools. Some people think that children going to single-sex schools have disadvantages later in life. To what extent do you agree?

In many countries the number of visitors to art galleries has been steadily declining. What are the reasons for this? What could be done to improve the situation?

The pictures below show how tomato ketchup is made.

Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others, however, say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.