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Writing Samples /
Band 3

Some people think that government should tax unhealthy foods to encourage people to eat healthier. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

#people #government #tax #foods
In these
centries
Correct your spelling
countries
show examples
, cancer , diabetes and obesity have become more prevalent
due to
 unhealthy
diet
Fix the agreement mistake
diets
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Moreover
, physical inactivity
especially
Add the comma(s)
, especially
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 in youngsters, so , some may think that the government can tax unhealthy food to combat
this
 issue ,
however
 in my point of view there are better ways to deal with
this
 phenomenon.
This
 essay will discuss
this
 in detail. To commence , not only putting a tax on junk
foods
 but
also
 encouraging people to be active can be more helpful .
For instance
 , the more they become inactive the more they become weak and sick.
Firstly
 they have to change their lifestyle and do sports to be healthier.
furthermore
,by consuming fresh
foods
 they won't become sick anymore. Another way to deal with
this
 is to make healthy
foods
 less expensive
however
 people try to purchase vegetables
instead
 of buying chips and burgers ,when junk
foods
becomes
Change the verb form
become
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 more expensive than fresh
foods
 well of course they will be more interested in those.
To sum up
 ,
although
 putting
tax
Correct article usage
a tax
show examples
 can be a useful one , just using one way can not be workable ,as I mentioned in paragraphs reducing the cost of healthy
foods
besides
 ,try to do sports ,,, All of them together can combat
this
 problem .
Submitted by Elisa  on

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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