Some people think that it is beneficial for children to do paid work, while others think that it can be harmful for children. Do [you think] the advantage outweight the disadvantage.

#people #children #work #[you #think] #advantage #outweight

Although

paid

work

is thought by some to be a useful experience for

children

, other people consider that it can be detrimental. In my opinion, I think that paid

work

can bring about more problems for

children

compared to any advantages it might bring. Admittedly, there are some basic benefits of

children

working for

money

Firstly

children

can develop an understanding of the value of

money

This

teaches them that

money

does not grow on trees and helps them appreciate the hard

work

needed to earn it.

Secondly

, they take the first step in learning how to manage

money

. Many older

children

for instance

, have a part-time job in order to save for something they would

otherwise

be unable to afford. Understanding

money

management,

furthermore

, is useful when, as adults, they will need to balance their finances.

Nevertheless

, despite the advantages above, I believe

children

could face serious drawbacks from paid

work

. One potentially dangerous problem is that it exposes them to exploitation through slave labour. In some countries that do not enforce child employment laws, they may end up working under extreme conditions or even in life-threatening situations for negligible wages. Starting life in

this

way makes it almost impossible for them to escape poverty as an adult. Another obvious issue is that working may affect a child’s ability to focus on their school

work

This

is a concern as only with a strong academic performance can a child hope to advance as an adult. In conclusion, being exploited or struggling with academic grades far outweighs any of the minor benefits that could result from

children

being involved in

work

experience.

Submitted by lenam2k1 on Wed Sep 13 2023

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Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

272 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

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Some people think that it is beneficial for children to do paid work, while others think that it can be harmful for children. Do [you think] the advantage outweight the disadvantage.

Fully explain your ideas

As a consequence of improved medical care, people are living longer and life expectancy is increasing. Do you think its advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

The effect of people to the environment is so much nowadays,what can the government and individuals do to restore or prevent further damage to the environment.

In many countries, the number of obese children is increasing rapidly, and many people believe that the government is responsible for this alarming problem. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In some countries, more and more people are becoming interested in finding out about the history of the house or building they live in. What are the reasons for this? How can people research this

People find it very difficult to speak in public or to give a presentation before an audience. Do you think that public speaking skill is very important? Some people say that it should be taught at school. Do you agree or disagree?