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Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people think that it is beneficial for children to do paid work, while others think that it can be harmful for children. Do [you think] the advantage outweight the disadvantage.

#people #children #work #[you #think] #advantage #outweight
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Although
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 paid
work
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 is thought by some to be a useful experience for
children
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, other people consider that it can be detrimental. In my opinion, I think that paid
work
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 can bring about more problems for
children
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 compared to any advantages it might bring. Admittedly, there are some basic benefits of
children
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 working for
money
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.
Firstly
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,
children
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 can develop an understanding of the value of
money
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.
This
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 teaches them that
money
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 does not grow on trees and helps them appreciate the hard
work
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 needed to earn it.
Secondly
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, they take the first step in learning how to manage
money
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. Many older
children
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,
for instance
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, have a part-time job in order to save for something they would
otherwise
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 be unable to afford. Understanding
money
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 management,
furthermore
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, is useful when, as adults, they will need to balance their finances.
Nevertheless
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, despite the advantages above, I believe
children
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 could face serious drawbacks from paid
work
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. One potentially dangerous problem is that it exposes them to exploitation through slave labour. In some countries that do not enforce child employment laws, they may end up working under extreme conditions or even in life-threatening situations for negligible wages. Starting life in
this
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 way makes it almost impossible for them to escape poverty as an adult. Another obvious issue is that working may affect a child’s ability to focus on their school
work
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.
This
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 is a concern as only with a strong academic performance can a child hope to advance as an adult. In conclusion, being exploited or struggling with academic grades far outweighs any of the minor benefits that could result from
children
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 being involved in
work
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 experience.
Submitted by lenam2k1 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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