IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

More and more people no longer read newspapers. They get news about the world through the Internet. Do you think it is a negative or positive development?

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Individuals today tend to be in touch with
news
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 not from newspapers as it used to be, but from online
services
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.
Although
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this
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 developed way is more convenient, it would not provide authentic or accurate data which
readers
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 can rely on. Applying technologies to read
news
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 provides us beneficial improvements
,
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apply
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 since it is comfortable.
Readers
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 will be able to read
news
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 at any time and everywhere
,
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apply
show examples
 since they can do It through their smartphones.
Moreover
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, It would not be necessary to go and buy
news
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, since we can subscribe to online
services
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 for free.
For example
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, when people want to read
news
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, they can just listen to it from podcasts
as well as
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 read through their smartphones at any time and environment without any expenses.
Thus
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, current society tends to use online websites to take the
news
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, because of their conveniences.
On the other hand
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, there are several disadvantages, since
readers
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 will not have any proof that the
news
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 they are reading is authentic. These online
services
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 only type data and publish,
while
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 newspapers have some checkings on the truth of the information they have written. To be more precise, newspapers have rules about publishing only authentic data,
while
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 online
services
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 do not.
For example
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, when online
services
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 type
news
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, they do not pay attention to facts or dates.
As a result
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,
readers
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 may take incorrect information.
Therefore
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, online websites may not write authentic
news
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.
To conclude
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, there are
such
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 advantages of using technologies for
news
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 as time and money saving, and drawbacks like inaccuracy of online
news
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. If the
news
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 on the internet was checked, we would believe them more.

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task achievement
Your introduction clearly states the topic and your perspective, which is good. However, try to make your thesis statement stronger by briefly outlining the main points you will discuss in the essay.
coherence cohesion
To achieve higher coherence, ensure that each paragraph has a clear central idea and flows smoothly. Use linking words and phrases to connect sentences and paragraphs better.
task achievement
Strengthen your examples to make them more specific and relevant. Instead of general statements, include data, studies, or specific scenarios to support your points.
coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph supports the main argument and avoids repetition. Summarize your main points in the conclusion more effectively.
coherence cohesion
The essay is well-organized into an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
task achievement
You have addressed both positive and negative aspects of getting news online, which shows a balanced perspective.
task achievement
Your arguments are generally clear and logical.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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