More and more people no longer read newspapers. They get news about the world through the Internet. Do you think it is a negative or positive development?
Individuals today tend to be in touch with
news
not from newspapers as it used to be, but from online services
. Although
this
developed way is more convenient, it would not provide authentic or accurate data which readers
can rely on.
Applying technologies to read news
provides us beneficial improvements,
since it is comfortable. Remove the comma
apply
Readers
will be able to read news
at any time and everywhere,
since they can do It through their smartphones. Remove the comma
apply
Moreover
, It would not be necessary to go and buy news
, since we can subscribe to online services
for free. For example
, when people want to read news
, they can just listen to it from podcasts as well as
read through their smartphones at any time and environment without any expenses. Thus
, current society tends to use online websites to take the news
, because of their conveniences.
On the other hand
, there are several disadvantages, since readers
will not have any proof that the news
they are reading is authentic. These online services
only type data and publish, while
newspapers have some checkings on the truth of the information they have written. To be more precise, newspapers have rules about publishing only authentic data, while
online services
do not. For example
, when online services
type news
, they do not pay attention to facts or dates. As a result
, readers
may take incorrect information. Therefore
, online websites may not write authentic news
.
To conclude
, there are such
advantages of using technologies for news
as time and money saving, and drawbacks like inaccuracy of online news
. If the news
on the internet was checked, we would believe them more.Submitted by makemoneyizzy16 on
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task achievement
Your introduction clearly states the topic and your perspective, which is good. However, try to make your thesis statement stronger by briefly outlining the main points you will discuss in the essay.
coherence cohesion
To achieve higher coherence, ensure that each paragraph has a clear central idea and flows smoothly. Use linking words and phrases to connect sentences and paragraphs better.
task achievement
Strengthen your examples to make them more specific and relevant. Instead of general statements, include data, studies, or specific scenarios to support your points.
coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph supports the main argument and avoids repetition. Summarize your main points in the conclusion more effectively.
coherence cohesion
The essay is well-organized into an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
task achievement
You have addressed both positive and negative aspects of getting news online, which shows a balanced perspective.
task achievement
Your arguments are generally clear and logical.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?