Some people think that watch TV is bad for children everyway. other think that TV has positive way as they. Discuss both view and give your opinion.

#people #tv #children #everyway

It is undeniable that

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

is the best source of entertainment

as well as

gain the their knowledge.

Whereas

, some individuals reckon that watching electronic devices is inferior for juveniles and others think, television has constructive impacts on

children

. In the essay, I will elaborate on both

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

approaches and

along

with

Change preposition

show examples

a suitable conclusion.

To begin

with, watching

is detrimental for

children

Firstly

watching television for a long time can make you physically feeble and it may cause health problems

such

as eyesight and enhance the bodyweight.

Secondly

, most of the

children

Change the capitalization

show examples

watch longer time cannot develop a social life and physical life.

Moreover

, Sometimes

children

watch movies they can make

wrong

Change the article

the wrong

show examples

contact

Change the noun form

contacts

show examples

such

as drugs and smoking.

This

can have detrimental effects on his

children

. On the paradoxical side, There are plenty of reasons

is beneficial for

children

. Probing

further

children

can learn new

thing

Fix the agreement mistake

things

show examples

through

Change preposition

show examples

watching

and they can easily gain knowledge.

Apart from

this

children

can be motivated if they watch sports channels and they

also

want to play sports.

Lastly

, youngsters develop their culture and lifestyle and they can increase their knowledge of all around the world.

To conclude

, watching television is beneficial for all juveniles if they watch

for limited time hours and they watch the right

programs.

Submitted by panesar293053 on Wed Sep 13 2023

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for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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14Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

221 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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