The graph shows the number of people taking parts in 4 kinds of sports in a particular region between 1985 and 2005. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph shows the number of people taking parts in 4 kinds of sports in a particular region between 1985 and 2005. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
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The line graph below illustrates the amount of people taking
parts
Fix the agreement mistake
part
show examples
in 4 separate types of sports in one certain area in 20 years between 1985 and 2005.
Overall
Linking Words
, in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
1985
Rugby
Use synonyms
had the largest number of
players
Use synonyms
,
whereas
Linking Words
Tennis
Use synonyms
had the lower amount of
players
Use synonyms
in comparison to
Rugby
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
2005
Rugby
Use synonyms
has
Wrong verb form
had
show examples
the lowest number of
players
Use synonyms
as well as
Linking Words
Badminton,
whereas
Linking Words
Tennis
Use synonyms
is become
Change to the active voice
becomes
has become
show examples
more
Add an article
a more
show examples
popular sport. In
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
1985
Rugby
Use synonyms
had almost 250
participators
Replace the word
participants
show examples
. Meanwhile,
Tennis
Use synonyms
had 150
players
Use synonyms
. But, after
the
Change the article
a
show examples
couple of
decades
Add a comma
,decades
show examples
Rugby
Use synonyms
became the most unpopular sport with a drop of almost
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
200
players
Use synonyms
,
whereas
Linking Words
Tennis
Use synonyms
rose to over 200
players
Use synonyms
, and became the most popular sport.
In addition
Linking Words
, in the year 1985, there were only 50 and 75 people enjoying badminton and basketball respectively. They were not really concerned as the percentage of those remained unchanged throughout the years until 2005.
Submitted by dimash171206 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "whereas".
Vocabulary: Replace the words rugby, players, tennis with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • fluctuation
  • participation rate
  • trend
  • increase
  • decrease
  • peak
  • stable
  • comparative analysis
  • dominance
  • decline
  • steady growth
  • significant change
  • regional popularity
  • time period
  • sports activities
  • data representation
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