Some young people go to college or university to have a successful career path. Others, however, chose to go straight to work to gain real-life experience after high school. Discuss both views and write your opinion.

#people #college #university #career #path #work #gain #school

There is no debate that choosing a career to

work

in is crucial for every individual.

However

while

some

people

believe that they should

gain

money through working after high

school

, I agree with those who select upper education after high

school

Firstly

, it is vital for everyone to continue their personal interest in their future job.

Therefore

, some young individuals choose to

work

directly after high

school

This

is because they want to become more experienced in their life and achieve their possible goals sooner rather than alternatives in the same generation.

For example

, if they

gain

a reasonable amount of money to afford living costs, they would marry their loved one at a younger age.

In contrast

this

argument goes that

while

young

people

choose to study at university and

gain

academic knowledge, they might lose their time for life development and achievements.

On the other hand

, I believe students should join universities to have significant incomes. The reason for

that is

professional workers

gain

higher salaries than those who are working without any structured training. Take doctors and engineers as an example, they would

gain

demanding salaries,

while

they are working for fewer hours with more job security and satisfaction,

while

those who are ordinary labourers suffer from a substantial volume of

work

with drastically less income.

Moreover

, the social position of educated individuals is considerably higher in society and others will always respect them,

therefore

as a result

, these highly educated

people

will definitely feel a sense of fulfilment and usefulness. In conclusion,

although

some might choose to

work

after

school

immediately

due to

their interest in gaining money, I feel that young

people

who choose to continue their educational path to succeed in life are more respected in society and achieve higher salaries.

Submitted by mahanmxd on Wed Sep 13 2023

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13Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

298 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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