IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The diagrams below provide information about placement in a bookstore between 2000 and 2023.

The diagrams below provide information about placement in a bookstore between 2000 and 2023.
The diagrams below provide information about placement in a bookstore between 2000 and 2023.
Overall
Linking Words
, a comparison of the two maps reveals a shift becoming not only a bookshop
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 but
also
Linking Words
 a multifunctional reading place. In 2000,
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
store
Add a comma
,store
show examples
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 Fiction sector was a much greater area with a large number of books, but during the next 23
years
Add a comma
,years
show examples
it’s
Unnecessary verb
it
show examples
 experienced
a dramatic changes
Correct the article-noun agreement
dramatic changes
a dramatic change
show examples
. The most noticeable is that all of the Fiction racks
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 decreased in size. Meanwhile, the Art , Hobbies ,
Cookery
Correct word choice
and Cookery
show examples
 were being knocked down and moved
instead
Linking Words
.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
new tables with benches
was
Change the verb form
were
show examples
 being set in the middle. Only Travel, New books , Service Desk near the entrance remained
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 the same point with
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
equal dimensions.
Further
Linking Words
 developments were the construction of a Cafe which was replaced by Non-fiction
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 was
also
Linking Words
 built at the previous Fiction’s corner.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also".
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Contractions: Don't use contractions.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 100%.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "provide" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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