IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

The maps below provide the variations which have occured at Queen Mary since its construction in 1960.

The maps below provide the variations which have occured at Queen Mary since its construction in 1960.
#maps #variations #queen #mary #construction
The maps below provide the variations which have
occured
Correct your spelling
occurred
 at Queen Mary since its construction in 1960.
Overall
,in Queen Mary Hospital only part of
Hospital
Correct article usage
the Hospital
show examples
 has
been remained
Change to the active voice
remained
show examples
 without any changes
during
Change preposition
apply
show examples
all the time.
Furthermore
, by 1980,
Shopping
Correct article usage
the Shopping
show examples
Centre
 and Farmland both had been shut down. After that, there had been
addition
Add an article
an addition
show examples
as
Correct your spelling
a
show examples
 Cancer
centre
,
Pharmasy
Correct your spelling
pharmacy
 and Nursing School
instead
 of what it was.
Moreover
, between 1980 and 2000,
further
 developments were
significant
Add an article
the significant
a significant
show examples
 expansion of
Cancer
Correct article usage
the Cancer
show examples
Centre
 in comparison with
Nursing
Add an article
a Nursing
the Nursing
show examples
school
Fix the agreement mistake
schools
show examples
 that halved in size.
Likewise
, Car Park had been reconstructed just in 2000, it
also
 had diminished in form,
although
,
this
 section had a great shape as
Hospital
Correct article usage
a Hospital
show examples
 in the initial stages. It is noticeable that
Shopping
Correct article usage
the Shopping
show examples
Centre
 and Farmland were not relevant for health institutions
in
Change the preposition
at
show examples
 the beginning of
building
Correct article usage
the building
show examples
.
And in
Correct word choice
In
show examples
 general,
Cancer
Correct article usage
the Cancer
show examples
Centre
 had
been
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
taken place
the
Change preposition
in the
show examples
 vast area of
this
 spot with a large breakthrough by 2000.
Submitted by dnm.best on

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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 100%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words centre with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "provide" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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