IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

Employers should give more importance to academic qualifications. Do you agree or disagree?

#employers #importance #qualifications
Today the role of academic
knowledges
Change the wording
knowledge
pieces of knowledge
bits of knowledge
show examples
 of
employee
Fix the agreement mistake
employees
show examples
 is argued. Some people believe, that hard
skills
 should be
Correct article usage
the
show examples
a main criteria
Correct the article-noun agreement
main criteria
a main criterion
show examples
 for a worker,
in contrast
, others think that there are more important aspects. I
am fully disagree
Change the verb form
fully disagree
show examples
 with
this
 consideration of the
fist
Correct your spelling
first
show examples
 group of human beings and think, that soft
skills
 are
more
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
preferable properties. First of all, in
21st
Correct article usage
the 21st
show examples
centry
Correct your spelling
century
, when different courses and guides are
accessable
Correct your spelling
accessible
,
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
further
 education in universities or colleges is optional.
In other words
, a diploma or certificate
about
Change preposition
for
show examples
Correct article usage
a bachalor`s
show examples
bachalor`s
Correct your spelling
bachelor`s
 degree is not
must have
Add a hyphen
must-have
show examples
, even people can go over a course, spend less time and get the same number of information.
For instance
,
IT
Correct article usage
the IT
show examples
 sphere, which is the most popular profession among youngsters, mostly consists of self-education and practice,
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 means a worker in
this
 kind of job does not need to study
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 university.
Thus
, individuals can get academic qualifications from online resources and spend less time.
Secondly
, nowadays soft
skills
 are more appreciated than hard ones. It means, that abilities,
such
 as critical thinking,
problem solving
Add a hyphen
problem-solving
show examples
 and stress resistance are most
peferred
Correct your spelling
preferred
 by employers
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 because
this
Change the determiner
these
show examples
skills
 do
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 work of the company well organized and creative. In
this
 case, workers with
good
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
developed soft
skills
 may
fastly
Rephrase
quickly
show examples
 solve a conflict,
and
Rephrase
quickly and
show examples
 work effectively together.
This
 way, an academic education is not the first need.
To sum up
, an academic
cirriculum
Correct your spelling
curriculum
 is not the main
criteria
Fix the agreement mistake
criterion
show examples
 in hiring people,
while
 there are soft
skills
, which can positively influence
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the work of a collective.
Submitted by sagynysh.mutigulliyeva.01 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • academic qualifications
  • determinant
  • competence
  • evolving job market
  • soft skills
  • practical experience
  • adaptability
  • domain-specific knowledge
  • problem-solving
  • critical thinking abilities
  • hands-on experience
  • innate talent
  • indispensable
  • standardized measure
  • comparison
  • diversity
  • inclusivity
  • hiring process
  • undue importance
What to do next:
Look at other essays: