Some people say history is one of the most important school subjects. Other people think that, in today’s world, subjects like Science and Technology are more important than History. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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In contemporary times, there exists a paramount emphasis on the important level of school
subjects
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, eliciting a plethora of debates on
this
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topic. Several individuals think that
history
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is one of the most important school
subjects
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,
however
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, others believe that, in today's world,
history
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is not as crucial as
subjects
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involving
science
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and
technology
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. Personally, in
this
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essay, I would like to discuss both sides before giving my opinion. On the one hand,
it is clear that
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not only does
history
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help residents to know about their original ancestors, but it
also
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is the best way to pass down culture from generation to generation.
As a result
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,
this
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contributes to developing their patriotism and protecting their culture.
For example
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, I studied historical
subjects
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during my childhood. Thanking that, I comprehend that building the nation process of my ancestors is extremely hard and I am proud of my nation and the national heroes who dedicated their whole lives to our country.
Therefore
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, I am aware of protecting the valuable culture that they left.
On the other hand
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, people
also
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claim that, in the technological era,
subjects
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such
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as
technology
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and
science
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are more vital than historical
subjects
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because all aspects of our life from working to leisure involve
technology
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and
science
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.
Thus
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, they like mandatory knowledge for people to catch up with the rhythm of modern life.
For instance
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, nowadays, teachers need to know how to use
technology
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to serve their teaching because
blackboard
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the blackboard
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has been altered to the electric board, and books are replaced by computers. Or workers who
also
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need to know the
technology
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to operate automatic machines. In conclusion,
although
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both views certainly have some validity, it seems to me that it is more
impotant
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important
to study
technology
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and
science
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subjects
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than
history
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, today.
Submitted by writingeilts on

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coherence cohesion
Your essay demonstrates a good logical structure, but the transitions between sentences and paragraphs can be improved for a smoother flow. Try using more linking words to connect your ideas more effectively.
task achievement
While your essay provides a well-rounded discussion and examples, clarity can be improved by ensuring more precise phrasing and avoiding minor grammatical errors. This will enhance your argument and make your points clearer.
coherence cohesion
You have both an introduction and a conclusion, but ensure that the conclusion ties back to the main arguments more strongly to reinforce your opinion and give a sense of closure.
task achievement
Your essay addresses both views thoroughly and you gave clear, comprehensive ideas with relevant examples. This shows a good understanding and balanced approach to the topic.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present and well-defined. This helps establish and wrap up your argument effectively.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Cultural heritage
  • Historical perspective
  • Analytical skills
  • Contextual understanding
  • Technological advancements
  • STEM (Science, Technology, Engineering, Mathematics)
  • Innovation
  • Interdisciplinary
  • Job market
  • Climate crisis
  • Cultural identity
  • Critical thinking
  • Humanities
  • Contemporary issues
  • Integration
  • Tech-savvy
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