There are many different types of music in the world today. Why do we need music? Is the traditional music of a country more important than the international music that is heard everywhere nowadays?

It is certainly true that a rich variety of musical styles are played around the world.
Music
is a vital part of human culture for a range of reasons, and I strongly believe that
traditional
Correct article usage
the traditional
show examples
music
of any nation is more significant than modern international
music
.
Music
is something that stimulates
human
Correct article usage
the human
show examples
senses.
People
are more fascinated towards
music
, as it helps them to express and arouse their emotions. Particularly, it helps children
in developing
Wrong verb form
develop
show examples
their senses during infancy period, when they cannot speak and communicate with the world.
Besides
this
, human history has already shown that
music
brings
people
more
Change the word
apply
show examples
closer. When they hear any kind of
music
or
involve
Wrong verb form
are involved
show examples
in musical activity, they can make better relationships with others, regardless of their cultural background.
For instance
, When Lord Krishna used to play his flute, masses used to listen and dance together on the streets. In my opinion, conventional
music
is more valuable than modern international
music
.
This
is because
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
it supports
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
culture in which it is played.
Also
, it keeps
people
connected with their roots, alongside providing significant information about ancient times.
However
, today's international
music
lacks depth and meaning. It is composed just to entertain
people
, which somehow affects the originality of
old times
Add a hyphen
old-times
show examples
music
.
For example
, folk
music
represents the old
people
Change noun form
people's
show examples
culture, customs and traditions that modern pop
music
cannot beat. In conclusion,
music
is closely connected to human existence, and I concur that traditional
music
has its own prominence because of its cultural identity.
Submitted by meghnabawa91 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • emotional release
  • cultural significance
  • globalization
  • cultural exchange
  • technology
  • preservation
  • cultural heritage
  • social cohesion
  • expression
  • consumption
  • production
  • traditional music
  • international music
  • diversity
  • identity
What to do next:
Look at other essays: