IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

The line graph shows the number of books that were borrowed in four different month in 2014 from 4 village libraries.

The line graph shows the number of books that were borrowed in four different month in 2014 from 4 village libraries.
#line #books #four #month #village #libraries
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The line graph shows the number of
books
Use synonyms
 that were borrowed in four different
Use synonyms
month
Change to a plural noun
months
show examples
 in 2014 from 4 village libraries. The pie chart shows the percentage of
books
Use synonyms
 by type,that were borrowed over
this
Linking Words
 time.
First
Change the article
The first
show examples
library
Use synonyms
 is West Eaton. Started with 50
books
Use synonyms
 in June and slightly gets to 150 in September.
Second
Change the article
The second
show examples
library
Use synonyms
 is Ryeslip. It is the highest line in June,300
books
Use synonyms
 and fell down to 170 in September. Sutton Wood is
third
Change the article
the third
show examples
library
Use synonyms
. It started with 250
books
Use synonyms
,in July grows
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 20
books
Use synonyms
. In
august
Capitalize word
August
show examples
 it sharply dropped to 100
books
Use synonyms
 in
Use synonyms
month
Add an article
a month
show examples
. But in September increased
for
Change preposition
by
show examples
 200
books
Use synonyms
. More precisely 300
books
Use synonyms
 in
Use synonyms
month
Add an article
a month
show examples
. Types of Book borrowed from each
library
Use synonyms
 has 5 pieces in
pie
Add an article
a pie
the pie
show examples
 chart. Most ordered
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 Fiction
books
Use synonyms
 with 43 per cent. Almost half. The second most popular type of
Use synonyms
books
Fix the agreement mistake
book
show examples
 is Biography . Nearly 20 per cent. Science and History
books
Use synonyms
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 equally ,14
percentage
Replace the word
per cent
show examples
. The least popular
books
Use synonyms
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 Self Help
books
Use synonyms
,With only 10 per cent out of
hundred
Correct article usage
a hundred
show examples
.
Overall
Linking Words
,the most popular type of
books
Use synonyms
 is Fiction and the highest with borrowed
books
Use synonyms
library
Use synonyms
 is Ryeslip and Sutton Wood with 300
books
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
per
show examples
month
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by dnm.best on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 100%.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words books, month, library with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "shows" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • borrowing patterns
  • trend analysis
  • comparison
  • seasonal influence
  • predictions
  • strategies for improvement
  • optimization
  • resource management
  • community engagement
  • library facilities
  • increase borrowing rates
  • monitoring
  • key findings
What to do next:
Look at other essays: