Loneliness is an increasing problem in many societies, especially among the elderly. Why is this? How might it be remedied?

#loneliness #societies

It is an irrefutable fact that many people have become isolated because of the departure of their family

members

to other cities, and

due to

fast-paced life in metropolitans where individuals do not have time to connect.

This

isolation leads to loneliness among human beings, especially aged persons. In

this

essay, I will discuss some of the common reasons responsible for

this

issue and prospective solutions for it. One of the reasons for

this

problem is people are moving to cities to lead a better lifestyle leaving old parents in villages. Another reason is unlike in the old era, youngsters nowadays prefer to have nuclear families and socialize over social media platforms rather than physical and emotional relationships. There are many families where youngsters and parents live together but it is sometimes impossible for both to have verbal communication because of the fast-paced lifestyle.

For example

, husband and wife prefer to work in

this

modern era.

Therefore

, it is almost impossible for both to take care of other family

members

or have talks

therefore

modern human beings isolate family

members

to other places. The prospective solution for the above problems can be that the government should bring policies to create opportunities in small cities to stop citizens from moving to another place and staying with families. Another solution could be that individuals should spend time with family

members

and look after each other. The government should open parks as well where one person can socialize with another irrespective of age group.

For instance

, if there is a park where certain activities like Yoga are organised for aged persons

then

it will help individuals in socializing.

This

way, one will not feel lonely.

To conclude

, loneliness is a serious issue and the young generation must understand the value of physical connection and emotional touch rather than having conversations over media platforms so that old people can deal with it.

Submitted by sharmabrijesh39 on Thu Sep 14 2023

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task response

Task Response: The essay partially addresses the given prompts but lacks depth in providing a comprehensive analysis of the issue of loneliness among the elderly. The response should focus more on explaining the impact of loneliness and proposed remedies.

coherence and cohesion

Coherence and Cohesion: The essay demonstrates a moderate level of organization and coherence, with a logical structure and a clear introduction and conclusion. However, the essay could benefit from stronger transitions between paragraphs to improve overall cohesion and coherence.

Your opinion

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

318 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

isolation
social support networks
superficial connections
anonymity
work-life balance
multi-generational households
urbanization
meaningful relationships
community involvement
alleviate
responsible use
face-to-face interaction

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Loneliness is an increasing problem in many societies, especially among the elderly. Why is this? How might it be remedied?

Your opinion

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some people think the cheap air flight gives ordinary people more freedom. However, others think that cheap air flights should be banned because it pollutes the air and brings many problems. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Older Building is preserving worth more than other one

In many countries, it is mandatory for school children to wear uniforms. Do the advantages of this policy outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Write a letter to owner say how long you want to rent the apartment explain why your plans have changed tell tge owner about a problem in the apartment

Living in a country where you have to speak a foreign language can cause serious social problems as well as practical problems. to what extents do you agree or disagree with this statement?