IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The diagrams below show the changes that have taken place at West Park Secondary School since its construction in 1950. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.

The diagrams below show the changes that have taken place at West Park Secondary School since its construction in 1950. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.
#diagrams #show #changes #place #west #park #school #construction #information #features #comparisons
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This
Linking Words
 report derives from the diagrams, which illustrate the differences in West
Park
Use synonyms
 Secondary School’s construction between 1950 and 2010 over 30
years
Correct your spelling
30-year
 period. A good starting point would be to say that, the biggest change was building
Use synonyms
car
Correct article usage
a car
show examples
park
Use synonyms
 over the years
shown
Verb problem
apply
show examples
, whilst
school
Add an article
the school
show examples
 was in the same
area
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. The first result worth pointing out is that
,
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apply
show examples
 the
area
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 of farmland has been changed every period shown; in 1950, it had an
area
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, but in 1980, sports
field
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 replaced its placement.
However
Linking Words
, in 2010,
Use synonyms
area
Correct article usage
the area
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 of
sports
Correct article usage
the sports
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field
Use synonyms
 decreased, and it shared
this
Linking Words
field
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 with
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car
Correct article usage
a car
show examples
park
Use synonyms
. Another piece of information that can be observed is that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
main
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the main
show examples
 building of
school
Correct article usage
the school
show examples
 had not
change
Change the verb form
changed
show examples
.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
playground
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the playground
show examples
 had the same
field
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 in 1950 and 1980, but it had to share its placement with
sports
Correct article usage
the sports
show examples
field
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 in 2010.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the houses were removed
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
to gain
area
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 for
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car
Add an article
the car
a car
show examples
park
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 and science block in 1980. Science block had the same
field
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while
Linking Words
Use synonyms
car
Correct article usage
the car
show examples
park
Use synonyms
 increased its
area
Use synonyms
 in 2010.
Submitted by barisberkay97 on

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Vocabulary: Replace the words park, car, area, field with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "change" was used 3 times.
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