IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Many manufactured food and drink product contain high level of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary product should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?

#food #drink #product #level #sugar #health #people
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It has always been argued that most companies produce food and soft drinks with more
sugar
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, which has an adverse impact on
people
Use synonyms
's well-being. Sugary items ought to be manufactured costly to influence individuals to
take
Verb problem
consume
show examples
 less
sugar
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. I agree with
this
Linking Words
 given statement and
this
Linking Words
 essay shall shed light upon my perspective in subsequent paragraphs. Foremost, the fundamental reason behind my agreement is that sugary
products
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 give more calories to consumers with
this
Linking Words
 they can face major outcomes
such
Linking Words
 as obesity and many more.
Consequently
Linking Words
,
people
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 not only
people
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 may become lethargic but
also
Linking Words
 addicted
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
sugar
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.
For instance
Linking Words
, a survey conducted by Harward University revealed that in India 65% of the population
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
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 facing overweight problems in their
health
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 because they are consuming
sugar
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 more in
every thing
Correct your spelling
everything
show examples
.
Besides
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
, increasing the price of sugary
products
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 is the best way to reduce
health
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 problems in order to change their buying behaviour. If factories or industries proliferate the rate of
products
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,
people
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 would purchase less and save from
health
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 ailments like obesity, diabetes and heart disease.
Sugar
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 is a lack of
nutrition
Replace the word
nutritional
show examples
 value.
For example
Linking Words
, an article published by The Tribune newspaper showed that in America there are every product expensive
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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make
Wrong verb form
made
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 with
sugar
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 with the assistance of
this
Linking Words
 the citizens
secure
Add a missing verb
are secure
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 from
health
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 illness.
To conclude
Linking Words
,
although
Linking Words
 there are other ways to reduce the consumption of sugary
products
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, once companies make
that
Change the determiner
that product
those products
show examples
products
Use synonyms
 at high prices, commoners could buy less and it has a negative effect on physical
health
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by deepikanayyar1996 on

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • overconsumption
  • sugar tax
  • health implications
  • obesity
  • diabetes
  • tooth decay
  • regressive tax
  • awareness campaigns
  • product labeling
  • public health
  • economic impact
  • preventive measures
  • caloric intake
  • nutritional education
  • consumption patterns
  • lifestyle diseases
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